Drowsy (A sappy friendship poem!)

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EleanorMoonbaby
Member

since 2002-09-02

Posts 202
England, UK

0 posted 2002-10-16 02:51 PM

It's so comfy here
Slumped over this table
Feeling
Sweet
Soft
Sleepy.

I rub my face into my pillow
(my folded arms)
I can still see you
(Peek-a-boo!)
Wearing THAT black knitted sweater
Engrossed in literary theory.

Don't move.
I like the way you're sitting now.
You seem so strong
Silent
Gentle
Intellectual.

I start to twirl a strand of hair
Around my finger
You push the rest off the hair away
reveal my face.

You smile at me
In the special way
That makes me happy to be your
Friend.

"Last night, I had a dream that I went to the doctors, and she gave me eight minutes to live. I'd spent thirty minutes in the [edited by moderator] waiting room"- S

[This message has been edited by quietlydying (10-20-2002 07:23 PM).]

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-10-16 03:33 PM

This is really cute.  I love the physical chemistry that you describe between the two subjects in the poem.

Great work, I love how this was written.  It is difficult to write a good poem about friendship, without it sounding all sesame-streetish... but you've done it.

Keep up the great work, El.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

anya
Member

since 2002-07-27

Posts 393
London, UK

2 posted 2002-10-16 03:40 PM

I wouldn't call this sappy, I think you avoided being over semtimental in my opinion, this had a lovley quality to it, made me smile, anyway thankyou i enjoyed this very much!

Anya

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2002-10-17 04:04 PM

I thought this was very well written. Awesome, in fact. I know how this feels, but mine applies more along the lines of a friend that I happen to like. hehe
Very well done

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

quietlydying

Senior Member

since 2001-06-10

Posts 935
the wonderful land of oz

4 posted 2002-10-17 07:23 PM

oh this one is good...

it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. ::smiles:: it reminded me of someone very special to me. thank you ver much for that.

this is by far my favourite piece of yours.

excellent work.

/jenhasaheadacherightnow/

at first i wondered why white oleander was in the six dollar bargain bin.

and then i read it.

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

5 posted 2002-10-17 09:42 PM

Ellie,
hey, great job....its not sappy!!! Promise!

E-mail me soon!

Ri

~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

6 posted 2002-10-18 03:01 AM

EleanorMoonbaby~
This is a very well-written piece and I could
feel the warmth of this friendship as I read.
Very nicely expressed.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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