Teen Poetry #6 |
Same street walking |
Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Same street walking Three A.M. “Someday”, stalking -Always been Lost my sense of who and when Must have burnt away again Try to find it in my pen Bleed the ink of this and then Watch it loop, fall strict, and bend Spill the thoughts my mind will lend Drink them up, as one befriends Give them trust, and trust defend See them as they are and end Same street waking Three A.M. |
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© Copyright 2002 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
You like "street" imagery, don't you, Kevin? I'm trying to interperet this poem as best I can... quote: I took that to be a description of some sort of sudden inspiration. "Same street walking," as I see it, is a similar experience being had... on second thought, it might even be literal, the "same street" being a street that the speaker goes for walks on at night. "'Someday', stalking -Always been" kind of trips me up after that... I think it's intended to describe some kind of anticipation or hope that is plaguing the speaker's mind... something that they are waiting to happen. The last two lines of this stanza are the fluid act of the narrator being over-absorbed in his thoughts, losing himself, his sense of "who and when." You once again remind the reader that this is a familiar event, ending the last line in "again." Hmm... quote: This is a bit easier than the first stanza. You take your feelings, "try to find it" in poetry, as in, try to put it into words... then as you write, you encode it, wrap it in symbolism, metaphor, et cetera. Those who "befriend;" your friends, I assume; are entrusted with the poem. They are to read it, and keep the feeling close to them. "See them as they are" implies that it's meant for this person to learn and know the meaning, to keep it close and "defend" it... then, the "waking" in the end (I almost didn't notice it was "waking" not "walking..." hehe...) is either the reader of the poetry coming into realization of what is written... or the writer coming out of his trance of lost sense of "who and when." Know what I mean? Well, this is just my interperetation of it... same street analysis, 5:41 A.M. I really like how this was written, Kevin... you've built a fantastic combination of meter and rhyme. All of the structure here is terrifically thought-through and the flow is unrivaled... a very good piece. High praise to you. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
awesum job. i luved it. You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see,but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel. |
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lil cherry Member
since 2002-10-02
Posts 86Ont, Can. |
Really liked this one. Seems like one that can be deciphered many ways. Which i like about it, everyone can take something different from it. It just kinda made me think about a lot of my own nights on the streets. Great job. ~~*lil cherry*~~ |
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clumsy Member
since 2002-10-10
Posts 106canada. |
beautiful |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
...this is relatively different to what Im used to reading from you, although, like LP said, you seem to gather a lot of imspiration from the 'street'. I personally didnt connect with the poem as much as I normally do with your poetry. I bet it has a lot of meaning and symbolism, but I dont think its the right time of day for me to delve into it. Keep posting buddy...
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
...this is relatively different to what Im used to reading from you, although, like LP said, you seem to gather a lot of imspiration from the 'street'. I personally didnt connect with the poem as much as I normally do with your poetry. I bet it has a lot of meaning and symbolism, but I dont think its the right time of day for me to delve into it. Keep posting buddy...
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
having read this for the third time, i'm still at a loss of what to say. the style caught me off guard, as it is rather interesting and most unique. it reminded me of an eagles song to be honest. but i really liked it. i wish i could tell you more, but i'm not in the right state of mind today. and is there something wrong with my computer? now cherish just double posted. hmmmm... quite odd. /jen/ at first i wondered why white oleander was in the six dollar bargain bin. |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I'm really liking the style you are currently writing in. Kind of reminds me of those old detective movies. The cool kats and the hot mamas..... I really loved this poem in every way. This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Kevin~ I have to say that I've really been enjoying your poetry recently,and this is no exception. Love the imagery and the overall feel of this poem. VERY nicely done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
Ooo, I really enjoyed that! Yay, great write. Nice imagery! Nao~ Have a good one. ;o) |
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