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WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

0 posted 2003-07-25 07:30 PM

I love being here in this moment
sharing this with you.
You make me feel so happy
Like almost no one else can do.

But in the back of my mind
I hear a voice whisper,
"It will all fall apart."
And I smile sadly,
wondering if it speaks truth.

I've been let down before,
seen my world crumble before me
I often wonder if it will happen again.

You make me feel so good about myself
to you, if to no one else in the world, I am special.
You laughter warms me
and your presence comforts me.

But in the back of my mind
I hear a voice whisper,
"It will all fall apart."
And I smile sadly,
and push any thoughts of the future away
to live in this moment,
with you.

WinterWren
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

1 posted 2003-07-25 10:22 PM

I felt my eyes start to well up about half way through this poem. This def. hit home for me. This is goin' in my library! Good job! ~Jess

"At the touch of love, everything becomes a poem." -Plato

Star T
Member

since 2002-07-12

Posts 182
Philadelphia, US

2 posted 2003-07-25 10:57 PM

its been a while i've been at netpoets till 2days ago.and i never forgot u once i saw winterwren i's like oh my God! i must read this.i do love the poem it clicked with me cos i have a boyfriend who loves me just as i love him and i always try to live in the moment unlike him who always brings up the future.i love ur poetry...its so much me!

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

3 posted 2003-07-26 01:57 AM

Live in the moment... you'll be happier for it

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

4 posted 2003-07-26 05:35 AM

live for the moment?......*sniffle, sniffle, i guess thats all we really do. we just like to think that we are thinking ahead, but we just think too much.
good one.

Song_for_Serenity
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 97
USA

5 posted 2003-07-26 02:11 PM

Gah.. I'm definitely feeling this poem. It pushes the feeling right into the open. Great job!

~Angela
"Anything less than mad, passionate love is wasting your time...Life has too many mediocre things in it, love shouldn't be one of them..."

Evie
Junior Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 15

6 posted 2003-07-26 04:49 PM

Very nice...I liked it....it honestly could use a little more "flow" technique and consistency with the PERIODS and COMMAS (dang-it I dunno what the name for those are...punctuation?...aahhh forget it...lol)...but other than that I liked it...good job....keep up the good work!

Tiffany Evangeline

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

7 posted 2003-07-26 05:00 PM

"Live in the moment... you'll be happier for it "

Rhonda does have a good point there. Sometimes... that's all you can do. Just live in the moment, and accept the future might not bring what we want or what we expect. But I doubt you posted the poem to get advice on your life.

The poem itself is good. Poems are great catharsis, aren't they? A few times, the flow stumbled, but nothing a bit of polishing up couldn't fix.

~Titus

The few. The proud. The Marines.

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