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Silent Evincar
Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 179
Here There and Places Between

0 posted 2003-07-22 02:06 AM

This is not my first time here, its just been too long and I need a fresh start. Start with a bang right? This poem is important , this was my prom night and this girl is now states away. Listen to my stories.

                   Remember...

Twinkling stars and heavenly moon,
we dance with the darkened highlight

Continuous movement upon silent whispers,
beating,fluttering...the heart knows this well

Interlocked pieces drifting among humble faces,
a private joke bound by the lasting memories

Reasoning has no demand in a wishful fantasy,
fears cleansed by each prevailing tear

Our eyes know all in this peaceful glimpse of hope,
a painting of colors so sweet and tender

Together this is our evening entranced in loving arms,
     one last stroll...one more time to say

                    I Love You...

AngelShell
Member

since 2000-03-01

Posts 446
not heaven nor hell so...

1 posted 2003-07-22 02:47 AM

This was a very vivid piece.
I especially liked the use of two line stanza's, it's rare however it worked really nicely considering the lines were long enough not to leave the image lacking.
It was well constructed throughout and read smoothly.

I look forward to reading more.

~I haven't memorized all of the cute things to say but I'm working on it~

Magia_negra
Member

since 2003-07-16

Posts 77
CA, USA

2 posted 2003-07-22 02:49 AM

Unforgettable moments...

A friend of mine used to say - whatever happens, we should be happy that we have those wonderful memories.

...somos los locos para siempre
para siempre te amo
mi vida...

dertah
Senior Member

since 2003-06-18

Posts 584

3 posted 2003-07-22 11:55 AM

haha, dude, i should have expected nothing less for the first post of you my friend. heres to the love we wish to discard, but cant......its our mothers fault you know.

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

4 posted 2003-07-22 04:21 PM

Saying your last "I Love You" is a very painful thing to do...

Great write, this piece was nicely written. Sorry for such heartache! ~Jess

"If I could give you one gift it would be my eyes...So you could see how it feels to be me looking at you." -Unknown

Rise of Truth
Member

since 2003-07-12

Posts 59
Beneath the Fury Sun

5 posted 2003-07-25 01:51 PM

I...am
Unable to forget the enchantment of that night.
Heartstrings you've played,
I feel invaded, but thankful.

AlostHeart
Member

since 2003-05-01

Posts 78
Wisconsin, U.S.

6 posted 2003-07-25 02:13 PM

very good write... emotional and touching~
im sorry for yoru lose but hopefully you will keep in touch with her.....
~Tori Louise~

Be happy, and respectful, dont forget about those ones that will always love you no matter how much you screw up!

Silent Evincar
Member

since 2003-07-22

Posts 179
Here There and Places Between

7 posted 2003-07-25 03:33 PM

I'd like to say thanks for all the replies to my pieces so far. I feel more at home here than anywhere. All of you inspire me with the emotion and words in use. Once again thanx.(You'll be hearing from me.)

NJS

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