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CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

0 posted 2002-10-13 04:04 PM

I started this one a while back, I don't think I'm finished with it, but I'm stuck so maybe I'll get some ideas on how to finish it by posting it. Anyway, let me know what you think and feel free to throw in any ideas you might have.

SO MUCH MORE TO DO

I find myself
Looking for you
Living my life
With so much more to do

I walk outside in the pouring rain
But all I hear is your sweet name
I wonder if we’re really meant to be
If you’re the one that God has sent for me

My love for you makes my heart skip a beat
You’re in my thoughts as I fall asleep
I just can’t seem to get enough of you
There’s no doubt that this love is true

I find myself
Looking for you
Living my life
With so much more to do

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

1 posted 2002-10-13 04:36 PM

Cody, all I can do is smile at this one. You are still writing with awesomeness.

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

2 posted 2002-10-13 04:37 PM

Loved the critique message :-)

great job!

~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

3 posted 2002-10-13 07:13 PM

It's the man! It's CODY!!!! I haven't talked to you in a long time man. Anyway Mr. Cowboy, the poem was very well done. I think that for what it is, a nicely written love poem, you expressed your thoughts rather well.
I am waiting for the day that you just up and say- I got a new girlfriend....so hurry up man.

This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'.

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

4 posted 2002-10-14 12:04 PM

Nice to read from you again, Cody.

I did like this poem, a lot. You made good use of vowel rhymes, so as to ensure that your wording wasn't harmed by the flow of the poem. I hardly noticed the vowel rhymes... which means you did this very nicely.

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

5 posted 2002-10-14 06:30 PM

This is so weird, I keep reading poetry that is somehow magically written for me! LOL

But seriously... I'm going through this too, you know that you should move on, but you can't help but wait around at the place you are, just hoping that this person will come back to you.. anyway, thats what I got out of it. I hope I don't look too stupid!

Anyway, good work!

Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

gymnast
Member

since 2001-11-18

Posts 80
Scotland.

6 posted 2002-10-18 12:03 PM

Hey, Awesome poem you've written there! I like it a lot and I totally know how youre feeling! Hang in there thingsll get better! Great poem I hope to read more!
||amanda||

Give All To Love, Obey Thy Heart. ~R.W.Emerson~

lonewolf1
New Member

since 2002-10-16

Posts 9

7 posted 2002-10-18 12:59 PM

Great poem, you have a gift. I hope to read more in the future.

Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

8 posted 2002-10-18 01:49 PM

~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

9 posted 2002-10-18 03:13 PM

Cody~
This is very well written and well expressed.
I always enjoy reading you.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

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