Before Storms [read it? please? :D]

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Teen Poetry #6

Before Storms [read it? please? :D]

SimpleDiscourse
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 79

0 posted 2003-06-19 09:22 PM

Before storms
Orange skies forge
Summer romances.
And young hearts
Tear themselves apart
As
Thunder rolls
and
Lightning cracks.
When tears get
Mixed with rain. . .
All remains
broken.

[This message has been edited by SimpleDiscourse (06-19-2003 09:24 PM).]

DancinQueen

Senior Member

since 2000-07-29

Posts 1092
Kokomo,IN,USA

1 posted 2003-06-19 10:16 PM

when tears get mixed with rain...i like that. good work!

XoXo's ~ Kiley

**You can't always trust the people you want to**

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

2 posted 2003-06-19 11:11 PM

I like it. I like it a lot. It was very simple yet said it all. Nice write.
-Jen

If you listen hard enough silence can mean more than words.

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

3 posted 2003-06-19 11:40 PM

Juxtaposition of imagery....it's a good tool, with a lot of energy built into it -- contrasting images shown together like a double exposure, so that the reader has to look at both, and the mind/emotions flutter between the two.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

martina
Member

since 2003-06-19

Posts 59

4 posted 2003-06-20 10:18 PM

AWSOME KEEP WRITING

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