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laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

0 posted 2003-05-28 06:41 PM

Raw emotions of pain,
regret at what you've done,
wishing so many times for one chance
just to redo it all,
or even a simple end to the agony
hitting your soul,
picking up a knife,
slicing through your skin,
wishing to feel something other
than the dreaded numbness of heart and soul,
watching the blood flow,
hiding the scar,
and picking up the knife all over again,
this time deeper, this time longer,
watching the blood flow,
dripping on carpets,
and never explaining why.
They never see,
and they always wonder why,
but they never care enough to find out,
so you pick up the knife, after a fight,
when you're shaking so bad,
and slice through your skin,
and watch the blood flow,
and realize you're alive,
and know you'll survive,
even as pain of soul deadens your heart,
and you wonder why.
They'll never see,
even as regret consumes,
for all those times you hurt them
till they simply couldn't care,
all those times they hurt you
without a thought,
all those times you said all those things
you simply didn't mean,
and they told you to get out.
You wear your scars with dignity,
never hiding them,
never lying about them,
for they were your way
surviving the pain,
even as they forced you to talk,
tell someone why.
You never told the truth,
obsessed with secrecy,
and now you see, you made the mistake,
of being born, of being you.
You made the mistake of showing them your heart,
that first time when you got accepted for art of soul,
and now you find you regret the idea of life.
You made the mistake of hoping for love.

SilentTears
Member

since 2003-02-15

Posts 371
Lost and Broken

1 posted 2003-05-28 07:06 PM

Wow...I really, REALLY liked this. You expressed this wonderfully...and I can relate to this as well. This poem is beautiful. Keep posting!

As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

2 posted 2003-05-28 08:42 PM

thanx. l posted this somewhere else, got some varying replies - one guy said it was a good read but treacherous, another said it needed a lot of work but could be fixed. myself, l thought it was ok but that was it... lol.

if life isn't what you want, view it throguh insanity's sheild, and you'll always have what you want...

l made that up:)

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

3 posted 2003-05-28 10:00 PM

I'm practically speechless. Let's just say that this hits a bit too close to home. This is a good poem, I look forward to reading more of your stuff.
-Jen

Every oak tree started out as a couple of nuts who stood their
ground. --Anonymous

Albino_Jenn
Member

since 2003-03-03

Posts 105
Ontario, Canada

4 posted 2003-05-28 10:04 PM

hey there, I really liked you're poem, you expressed the raw emotion very well!!! I also noticed you are from ontario, I am too, just wondering if you're any where near me!!! I live in a small town about 2 hours from the manitoba border!! Great job on the poem again!!!
Jenn

**It's better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you are not**

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

5 posted 2003-05-28 10:36 PM

thanx, l actually live somewhere in southeastern or western ontario (never can keep these things straight,) around the toronto guelph area, though it's a small town farther away. those are just the biggest cities near me...
glad someones getting something out of this. you sure its not crap? lol.
just curious, l suppose. (l'm an idiot, if you're wondering. and proud of it, too..)

if life isn't what you want, view it throguh insanity's sheild, and you'll always have what you want...

l made that up:)

ESP
Member Elite

since 2000-01-25

Posts 2556
Floating gently on a cloud....

6 posted 2003-05-29 07:57 AM

I think this is really good and expressive, what haunting images!
Thanks for sharing

Luv, Liz xxx

"Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~

laurie
Member

since 2003-05-28

Posts 153
canada, ontario

7 posted 2003-05-29 11:49 AM

thanx. guess there are a lot of varying opinions for this, aren't there?
thanx for the good words.
Laurie.

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