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Teen Poetry #6
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My Friend
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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My Friend |
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blueyedlioness Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289USA |
I wrote this for one of my friends... sometimes my only friend. He's been trying to date me for years, and I just... don't think it's there. But he's so special... You're a little different From most people that I know While their worlds pass in a blur Yours is going slow You were always kind of there In the background of my stage And I never let you play a part 'Cause people might think that was strange I had to be the only act In my personal self-written play And you had to stay behind the curtain Because you might be in the way But now the audience has lost interest To new and greater things And I stand on the stage alone My voice hoarse as I sing But no one sits out in the seats No one hears my last attempt To have them love me, have them care To ever once again fit in And as I sink onto the floor See the tears fall in my lap From somewhere far back in the wings I hear a single clap And you walk out and pick me up Say you love me and you care And I look in your deep brown eyes Not believing you're still there I avoided and ignored you To get rid of you, I tried my best I was afraid you'd make them not like me But now you're here and they've all left And I realize that it's me who's stupid I'm the one who made them go Yet you just put your arms around me Even though I know you know Now I see what I once couldn't Blinded by the ones who've gone You're the only friend I have Simply 'cause you still hold on You say you're in love with me Ask me to spend my life with you And you've been waiting so patiently For me to love you, too You picked me up and carried me Helped me through and held me tight And even though I'll always love you I can't let you share my life Please let me be your friend forever Care for you as you do me I'm sorry I can't fall in love with you So sorry my heart's not free... |
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| © Copyright 2003 Laura - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Albino_Jenn Member
since 2003-03-03
Posts 105Ontario, Canada |
I really like this poem, it shows great emotion, good job. Jenn **It's better to be hated for who you are, than loved for who you are not** |
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HeroicVillan Junior Member
since 2002-11-09
Posts 34Lost..... |
your right, we did almost post at the same time..... this was great, and it makes sense, some people dont have that when they write. I look forward to much more..... |
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Lovely poem. I like it alot, thanks for sharing it. Luv, Liz xx "Gorge the honey from life, and live through the stomach aches knowing they will pass..." ~Liz Pinard 2003~ |
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Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Hmmm... I like this one *grin* I say that a lot, but this one is very well written. It's heartfelt and emotional, and the rhyme scheme is very well done. Very good job, I will definitely keep my eye out for your name in the future  |
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wvplayernotreally Member
since 2002-11-06
Posts 215yakima wa |
wow...good really really good! Thats kinda how I am feeling about a guy right now..perfect! " I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking." |
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SilentTears Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 371Lost and Broken |
Wow...this poem was so sad. But very good. I like the way you used the "stage" and your own "self written play." Great job. It flowed wonderfully. One of my favorites. Really beautiful. As I smile at everyone else, I'm dying inside... ~Me |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
Beautifully written. Those moments are the one's that you will remember forever sad as they may be, and he will be in your heart forever if only a friend he'll be..ahh I'm rhyming and I'm not even meaning to!..sweet and heartwrenching emotions, loved the refrences to the stage and singing since I happen to be a bit of a show girl drama queen m'self! ~Live and Laugh~ Always strive for excellence never perfection. |
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ljossberir Member
since 2003-05-04
Posts 81Ny, USA |
Do I sense an allusion to shakespere? A great topic, and a worthy homage to it.. something that im sure has been thought often, but never put into words like this. Nice stuff.. -matt |
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blueyedlioness Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 289USA |
Ahh, Shakespeare... yes, I adore him... I only wish he wasn't long ago dead. But perhaps that's part of what makes him famous. Seems like the majority of famous people are dead. "Much Ado About Nothing" is my favorite play... my favorite movie... what an amazing story. Thanks all of you for the wonderful replies. |
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chasing rain Senior Member
since 2001-05-15
Posts 737Canada |
I actually read this one a while ago and was going to reply, but unfortunately at the time, I was kicked off the computer.  But I'm back now. Your use of simplistic words really caught the emotional tone of this piece incredibly well. It's one of the few poems that does not need an expanded vocabulary to get your point across. I honestly loved reading this, not only for your words, but for the way you express your emotions as well, feeling truly in what you say. This is definately one of the better poems I've had the pleasure of reading here today (and yesterday before I got kicked off). Great job! -Leah  |
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Halcyon Junior Member
since 2003-04-10
Posts 43Arizona, USA |
Laura, Even while reading your poem, the meaning behind it went through to my heart. Everything you mentioned: the stage, the singing, all this confusion, and lastly waiting patiently... I realized that it is exactly what I'm doing to a certain someone, literally.  I just hope that what you feel for him isn't what she thinks of me, but then again the more I think about it, it probably is. Perhaps it might be best to approach her now about it, or forever lie in waiting, never to know what could have been. *embarrassed, he wipes a tear from his eye*   Only the warrior who can admit mortal weakness will be bolstered by immortal strength [This message has been edited by Halcyon (05-27-2003 07:40 AM).] |
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Fading Away
since 2001-03-14
Posts 3131Lynchburg, Virginia |
The rhythm of this poem was beautifully done! Bravo!! This is one of the best poems I have read in PIP in quite a long time. The emotion is strong, and the feeling that's tranferred to the read is beautiful, a lone heart pining for it's lover that it just can't have. Wonderful work, Lara.. absolutely awesome. I am quite impressed with the caliber of your work. You know when to be deep and you know when to let up a little. Awesome work. --Marie "You can be idealistic for all of ten seconds before you die." (Imitation of Life) |
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spritrider87 Member
since 2003-05-31
Posts 294NH |
this is really great. i hope you keep writing |
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