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Teen Poetry #6
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| Teen Poetry #6 |
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anya Member
since 2002-07-27
Posts 393London, UK |
Today the London air is feels charged somehow, cuts at my skin and stings my eyes, the wind screams warnings to me as I stumble through the streets. And the relentless rain beats down upon me, it tries, but fails, to wash away these stains that disfigure me. And the pale sun only half lights up the day, the weak rays quickly melt away, but I don't care, right now I feel more comfortable in the dark. Tonight the London elements are matching my mood, clouds are mustering, the atmosphere almost seems tangible around me, slow, saturated, on the brink, I sense the thunder will soon be heard. any suggestions for a title would be appreciated. I was going to call it 'the thunder will soon be heard' but I don't think it is quite right. Anyway I can't think of anything |
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| © Copyright 2002 Anne Hegarty - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marshalzu  
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
A great write, you've got some very vivid imagery here and combined with the emotion it makes for a very good read  Andrew |
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clumsy Member
since 2002-10-10
Posts 106canada. |
what about.... in the dark, for a title? i loved the imagery of this poem. |
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cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
OHHHH..dont you love it when the weather matches your mood? I hate it when you feel like a storm's brewing inside and it's all bright and sunny out. Nicely done, sorry I couldnt think of a title for it. 
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I like Clumsy's idea, "In The Dark," for a title. I much enjoyed the visual nature of this poem, I think you did a good job of it. Nice work. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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Surreal Junior Member
since 2002-10-21
Posts 35Paris |
Very interesting subject matter. Did you specifically think of using enjambment throughout or did it just happen? Either way, I think it really added to the piece. Nice work |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I liked this a lot. I thought you wrote this one well. Hope to read more.  This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'. |
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Darkness Member
since 2002-10-17
Posts 202The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies. |
I'm with the others about the title...Anyway, this poem was awesome! I liked it very much and hope to see more from you in the future. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
anya~ This is an extremely well-written piece, filled with excellent imagery. You've done a great job with this. Much enjoyed. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
The clouds are mustering. |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
amazing imagery. and i love the first line. absolutely love it.  /jen/ what if they gave a war, and nobody came... [This message has been edited by quietlydying (10-26-2002 01:24 AM).] |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
gah!! i've been reposessed.  i'm a smiley junkie now. helllllllp...  /jen/ what if they gave a war, and nobody came... [This message has been edited by quietlydying (10-26-2002 01:26 AM).] |
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