Finally Understand ( short )

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Riley

Senior Member

since 2002-07-18

Posts 1038
in the pouring rain

0 posted 2002-10-09 08:07 AM

raptured world of silent hope
cresent fallen down to line
choice words spoken out of context
unmooded by another sentence
yet uncantered by grass brushing my cheek
a relization comes to mind
knowing that i might finally comprehend
or at least i think i understand
questions wash over me
like a literal ocean
falling in and out of persistent meter
worrying constently fretting over nothing
knowing that the sand will never totally wash away
yet still crying late at night
years shed falling in endless infinity
or at least thats what i thought
understanding the courses life runs
confused by a simple river
that holds my tears and hopes
as only i can know
you will never understand
never

~* Love humiliates you, hatered cradles you-White Olender *~

[This message has been edited by Riley (10-09-2002 07:49 PM).]

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

1 posted 2002-10-09 03:38 PM

oh, you started this out with some beautiful trochaic tetrameter! I was definitely very excited to read the rest of the poem, and then you stopped with the meter entirely... must have just been a coincidence...

I still like this, but I wish you had persisted with the meter!

Parasite

Learn to place poetry before people
Before you place your poetry before the people.
~Andrey Kneller

LoneWolf
Member

since 2001-03-10

Posts 384
IL

2 posted 2002-10-09 07:52 PM

This was awesome, i really liked it, great job

It's too bad I'm not as wonderful a person as people say I am, because the world could use a few people like that.
I've learned that even when you th

Chloey
Member

since 2002-09-29

Posts 74
in a silver mustang convertible

3 posted 2002-10-09 10:48 PM

go ri ur do so good on everything

*$*Chloey*$*

You can fall from the sky,
You can fall from a tree,but,
The best way to fall is in love with me

Marshalzu

Member Elite

since 2001-02-15

Posts 2681
Lurking

4 posted 2002-10-10 10:17 AM

Great write thanks for sharing

Andrew

Dopey Dope

Moderator

Member Patricius

since 2000-08-30

Posts 11132
San Juan, Puerto Rico

5 posted 2002-10-11 12:49 PM

Wow, I think the choice of wording in this poem is just splendiferous. Amazing.
Really well written poem. The only thing I couldn't really do well was find the correct place to stop and go with the flow. However, each word carefully fit into the other. Very very well written poem. The ending hit me hard. I hope to see more from you.

This message has been brought to you by the letter 'Y'

Ina
Senior Member

since 2000-10-09

Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada

6 posted 2002-10-11 10:15 PM

This poem was sad and capitivating at certain instances, I dont know much about meters or schemes so i wont say anything. Anyways I really enjoyed your poem. Keep up the good work

Regina

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