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Jeremy Halstead
Senior Member

since 2000-06-01

Posts 569
Morris, Ill. U.S.A

0 posted 2003-04-30 06:31 PM

Witness To The Rain

Pitter, pitter, melocholy patter-
the rain drops fall and fall.
Tranquil in their journey, they come
to cry upon us all.
Fleeting, shallow little lives-
O! why be so futile you!
A burning soul is nought for bright
if dampened down by dew!
Be hasty with your splish and splash-
no need for sorrow's reign
Whilst dry I stay, dream I dare
to witness rainfall's pain.

Jeremy D. Halstead

Be it in the truest form, or a desperate lack thereof, fail not to understand that the inspiration is love.

FlyingCloud
Member

since 2003-04-28

Posts 151
A little place inside my head

1 posted 2003-04-30 06:42 PM

I love this work! I'm adding it to my library!

^~Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others.~^
Unknown

Eminem wanna be
Member

since 2003-02-04

Posts 52
Windsor, Missouri

2 posted 2003-04-30 11:34 PM

Wow jeremy you are an amazing writer....you really have a talent and a way with words

You can do anything you set your mind to man--EMIN3M
R.I.P.-Zandon R. Maddix 10-3-80 to 10-5-02

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

3 posted 2003-05-01 01:26 AM

Once again breath taking. Simple beauty isn't it a grand thing? This had a haunting sort of forlorness to it that I just can't get enough of. Enjoyable read
~Live and Laugh~

Always strive for excellence never perfection.
~Bella~

punkrockerrobin

Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 1180
Sparks, NV

4 posted 2003-05-01 02:41 AM

you are such a talented poet. if i was you hun i'd take all my poems put em into a book and publish them. "The Great Works Of Jeremy"
robin

hi my name is robin and i am addicted to poetry and men!
cody saw some pigs so he tried to fly but he fell and went BOOM!

blueyedlioness
Member

since 2003-04-24

Posts 289
USA

5 posted 2003-05-01 12:25 PM

That's really nice... it has the grace and flow that only a long-time poet can put into something. And it definitely deserves a place in the book!

chasing rain
Senior Member

since 2001-05-15

Posts 737
Canada

6 posted 2003-05-01 07:09 PM

Jeremy-

Really liked the concept. Never thought of rain as "painful". The meter was pretty good too; only a couple lines where the meter didn't quite match, but that isn't something to worry about. Your "sound effects" fitted the poem and added some life to it. Well done!

Leah

Sunkissed
Senior Member

since 2002-12-03

Posts 610

7 posted 2003-05-02 10:40 AM

Beautifully written, Jeremy.

You have my vote.

Sunkissed.

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

8 posted 2003-05-02 11:53 AM

I love it! and it has my vote.
Jenni

To hate you must first have loved.

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