»
Archives
»
Teen Poetry #6
»
Twelve dead Roses
| Teen Poetry #6 |
|
Twelve dead Roses |
|
|
Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
i have twelve roses hanging on my wall each from someone who let my hart fall i have twelve roses hanging in my room seach from someone who filled my life with gloom i have twelve roses sitting on my table each from a time when i hart was fully able i have twelve roses sitting in a vase each one at a time cut at the base i have twelve dead roses arond me in my room i have twelve dead roses and i had to cut one the didn't bloom [This message has been edited by Deep_Inside (10-07-2002 08:29 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Matt - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
wow..deep...i liked this..i have dried roses in my room 2, from exes lol, i should take them down..they just remind me of failed relations...o well, nice job.  You can close your eyes to things you dont want to see,but u cant close your heart to things you dont want to feel. |
||
Skyfire 
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
I like this one. I couldn't tell you why, it just struck a chord in me. Good job  A toque IS a hat! And I have one! |
||
|
Kodoku New Member
since 2002-10-08
Posts 5 |
I think this is very good, deep i suppose you people would say. ^_^ But the spelling, not to be too critical, could be improved. |
||
|
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Oh I definitely like how the ending relates to the rest of the poem. The last stanza is my favourite because of how it strengthens the shift between its content and the rest of the poem. Bravo, you've demonstrated great technique in the structure of this poem. Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
||
|
Deep_Inside Member
since 2002-02-14
Posts 377i can't stop hiding |
sorry about the spelling i just put it in how i did in my book. thank you for your relies |
||
Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
This is such a wonderful poem, I like your ending which is where I think the strength lies in this poem, a very interesting read, thank you for sharing. Andrew |
||
|
Android 17
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664Winnipeg |
Roses. VERY nice correlation! Mmmmm---I liked the idea of this whole thing...muy, muy bien! All I do, is think about you... |
||
|
cherish Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639swimming in fairy floss........... |
Nicely done Matt! It sounds strangely like something a pyschotic stalker would write in a cult movie..  ...but that's just my twisted imagination for you. I liked it a lot, hope to read more from you soon! 
|
||
|
quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
i really liked it. dark and very emotional. good write. /jen/ what if they gave a war, and nobody came... |
||
|
SailorFirebird Junior Member
since 2002-10-21
Posts 1615 Miles North of NoWhere |
very dark and deep. loved it. hope to see more.  |
||
|
Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
I think that the poem was fine, it was a bit weak in the middle though. The conclusion was so powerful that it made me feel like the rest of the poem was not much compared to it. Needless to say, the conclusion rocked and I did enjoy this poem. Well done.  This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'. |
||
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Deep_Inside~ This is a well-written piece. I enjoyed the concept and the depth of it. Nicely done. ~Vicky P.S. Don't forget to check out Teen Challenge #2! "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
BOO! Are you now?
