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Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

0 posted 2003-03-12 06:41 AM

Vines grasp
at my feet
trying to trip me
as I run.
Falling...Falling...
Land face-first
in the dirt
something caught my foot
and dragged me down
Sliding...Sliding...
Something pulls me
back into its gaping
jaws filled with teeth
Waiting...Waiting...
To knaw my heart and
make it. NUMB.
Darkness falls.
Game Over.
Curtains Close.

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

[This message has been edited by Spine Grinder (03-12-2003 04:02 PM).]

Darkness
Member

since 2002-10-17

Posts 202
The place just beyond my eyes, where my spirit flies.

1 posted 2003-03-12 11:51 AM

I liked this poem. It was almost like someone who has made a miraculous step against an addiction has suddenly had a relapse and fallen back into it. I don't know if thats what you mean here, thats just me I guess. I liked it anyway. I liked the part where you said

"Darkness falls.
Game Over.
Curtains close."
This made it seem almost like it wasn't real to begin with. It adds mystery to this piece.

Muy Bien!
Darkness

PoeTik JusTice
Member

since 2003-01-05

Posts 186
California, USA

2 posted 2003-03-12 12:57 PM

Nice work, I really liked this, the last 3 lines were definitely my favorite!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
*~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn, is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

3 posted 2003-03-12 01:33 PM

Very well crafted write Staci and very interesting piece!

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

4 posted 2003-03-12 04:06 PM

Thank u all i'm glad u liked this piece. Darkness- Actually, as weird as this may sound, i had a dream about this once, that i was running through a jungle, and something was chasing me and no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't find it, but I knew it was there, and suddenly something tripped, as I say in this piece, the rest is kinda self-explainatory. Thanks again~

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

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