Teen Poetry #6 |
The Language of your Skin |
PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Fire the gun into the night air, the breeze is cold, the race has begun. I bring you closer, so you can feel my warmth. I catch a whiff of your hair, as I rub the language of your skin. We are two frogs, in the chaos of existence. Pull me closer, from across the distance. My dreams of reality are nothing but contradictions. I grasp them as I enjoy, and then I wake. For I know my life will be whole, though my heart not so. Rib'it. |
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© Copyright 2003 Daniel Redding - All Rights Reserved | |||
PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Sorry, Brian, I couldn't change that line. I'm still.... chewing on your suggestion. It may or not not happen. I understand your reasoning, but I also understand mine. ~Titus Es ist gut, daß das Leben die Toten studieren sollte. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Titus...... "I bring you closer, so you can feel my warmth. I catch a whiff of your hair, as I rub the language of your skin." mmmmmmmmmmmmmm I like this |
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barbaraj Member
since 2003-01-24
Posts 139Nova Scotia, Canada |
interesting poem. very interesting. you have my vote ~You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people, than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.~ |
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barbaraj Member
since 2003-01-24
Posts 139Nova Scotia, Canada |
oops accidently posted twice! ~You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people, than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.~ [This message has been edited by barbaraj (02-16-2003 12:40 PM).] |
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Isabel Galaxia Senior Member
since 2000-06-18
Posts 733 |
Wow! If a guy wrote something like that for me.. Bel |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
I like this too. Well done! |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Thanks, everyone. ~Titus "On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died." |
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PoeTik JusTice Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186California, USA |
This poem is...wow, really good! I loved it! Nice work! XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
As uaual I like this! I love your unique style something about it pulls me in everytime...this one is no different. I especailly liked the second stanza, great imagery.. ~Live and Laugh~ People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today. |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
An interesting read Titus, I really enjoyed it |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
Oops |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
I enjoyed this, Titus. Nicely done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
I didn't see this was marked for the book!! Now I can vote way cool |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(sigh) Oh Daniel, this is very true and heartfelt, sweet friend, reality is not the place you want to place your dreams, though you can embrace reality with the light of them! (big hugggssssss) This is wonderful, sweet friend, generally I do not drop into Teen Poetry, but I want so much to support the Teen Poets in finding places in Reflections as every teen here has a special voice deep inside them, a melody to behold, so you have my vote, yay, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a bautiful heart, sweet Daniel, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
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Waterbirdfly Junior Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 32China |
YOUR poem is like that of Chinese poet. |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
If that's a compliment, then thank you, fellow poet. ~Titus "On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died." |
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devinechild22 Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571 |
I loved this. Truely passionate write. Good one. *Allison* |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
This poem is very interesting, and I like it. Sometimes we have to follow a stronger voice, even if it's silent. |
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frolicking dolphin Member
since 2003-02-23
Posts 268my own special world |
That was a very thoughtful poem, good write. Karen |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Heh heh, like the end, the beginning and the middle. |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Thanks, to everyone, for replying, and letting me know what you think, and, as well, for voting. I appreciate it muchly! ~Titus "On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died." |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
Muchly, eh? That's MY word, dude, and dont' you forget it Anyway, I've read this and reread this, and I really like the whole frog analogy *spins* Go Ti! Sometimes you find a friend where once there wasn't one. Sometimes you find a love where once there was a friend. |
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anonymousfemale Member Elite
since 2000-02-02
Posts 2797Limbo |
Unique but interesting nonetheless. You've done a good job with this, Ti. The frog part threw me off for a moment but incorporated with the rest of the stanzas it makes sense. Bravo. ~AF~ "Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Love this..excellent choice for the book. ~Hugs~ ~ Trace my body with your words.. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I liked the frogs. And agree with our chinese friend, that it lent an oriental flavor to it. I vote yes, lovie... (and yeah, I know frogs lending an oriental flavor..grin...it's true their legs taste like chicken ) |
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DawnG
since 2000-06-23
Posts 1494United States |
This poem is quite interesting, I like it a lot. Dawn |
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rimmie Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 45Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
WOW!...this was amazing! keep up the good job! ~RuZ~ |
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rimmie Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 45Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada |
I could have sworn i just replied...but ah well! Great job i have enjoyed many of your poems and you have yet to brake that sycle! ~RuZ~ [This message has been edited by rimmie (02-28-2003 12:02 AM).] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I like it... |
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Ladycat
since 1999-07-05
Posts 782At the edge and a doorway,TX |
Wow, wonderful read. You have my vote too. Love, ladycat Dancing is the loftiest, the most moving, the most |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Wow. I love it. |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Forgot to vote... |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Titus, I like this....the frog-love is cute to me...LOL Sorry I missed it before, but my vote is in now... "Love makes the world go around" |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Different, unique, and really clever. Enjoyed. |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
I liked this, it was a nice read. " "We are two frogs, in the chaos of existence. Pull me closer, from across the distance" I would have to say that is my favorite stanza, maybe cause..."we are two frogs" totally fresh and intersting. Regina "heaven truley knows that thou art false as hell...one that loved not wisely,but too well..she swore..'twas a strange ,'twas passing strange"-othello |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Thank you, everyone. Muchly appreciated comments. ~Titus "On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died." |
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