Teen Poetry #6 |
Broken Heart |
BabieDoll Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268BFE |
Stinging eyes Burning heart Falling tears Tearing apart Lies told Secrets revealed Stripped down Nothing concealed Screaming loudly In denial Love demolished Purely senile Eternity ending Forever gone Blank expression Walk on Stricken pain Fallen apart Forgotten memories Broken heart * "In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..." |
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© Copyright 2003 J.Lynn - All Rights Reserved | |||
Rider New Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 7Framingham (rural Massachusetts) |
very understandable, my life at school is like that everyday! -Rider |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
i liked this one jenn. different from your other ones. keep it out and welcome to the forums lol later~ If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. |
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BrokenDreams Member
since 2003-02-09
Posts 425In The Clouds |
I like the off-beat rhyme ya got goin here. jenn |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Awesome poem! The first stanza really grabbed my attention. Wonderful job! I LOVE it!! WinterWren |
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majnu
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088SF Bay Area |
Welcome to PIP! This poems was darker than I first thought, but noneless interesting; I hope to read more of your work in the future. Also, check your e-mail for a surprise. -majnu |
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PoeTik JusTice Member
since 2003-01-05
Posts 186California, USA |
Very nice poem! Sounds like something I'd write, I can relate! Very good! XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
Nicely done!! Excellent first post! I like how you didn't ever use a complete sentence more like random thoughts as they came to you, very much like what a broken heart feels like indeed! Thank you for an enjoyable read. ~Live and laugh~ People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today. |
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Jenn Cirrincione
since 2000-07-02
Posts 2107Fl |
One day there will be someone who picks up those pieces, and everything will just fit. Good luck. You write well. Jenn "Now I'm convinced that he's heaven sent, and must be out of his mind- mama he's crazy, crazy over me." |
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Shady Poet New Member
since 2003-02-17
Posts 5USA |
hey nice poem.. very simple but its still good.. i liked it.. awesome job... der is onlee one rain cloud in da sky and its rainin' on meeh... |
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peachesNcream Senior Member
since 2001-08-21
Posts 513Ocean Of Tears |
This was a good poem! I liked it a lot! You better post more! hehe ~Jess "Poetry, she thought, wasn't written to be analyzed; it was meant to inspire without reason, to touch without understanding." -Nicholas Sparks |
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Quiet Acquiescence Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 70somewhere out here |
oh wow, i really enjoyed reading this poem!!! I can relate so much to it. much applause! Great job! ~*~Quiet Acquiescence~*~ ~*~Courage is wings~*~ |
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Shlee Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 72USA |
Very nice, very real. I like your style. Hearts won't always be broken though. Some day...some one will be there, a true friend. Trust me, I know. My hope is with you. Keep it up |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
Welcome to passions!!! I know Im a little late but its ok!!! Great work here!!! I hope that you like your stay here!! And Im looking forward to reading more of your work!!! ~if you want something very badly set it free, if it comes back to you its yours forever, if it doesnt it was never yours to begin with~ |
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Waterbirdfly Junior Member
since 2003-02-16
Posts 32China |
ARE YOUR HEART BROKEN?WHY?SOMETIMES I AM LIKE YOU.PASSIONS AGAIN |
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PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Welcome to Passions, newbie!!! And what a start you have. Please, be sure to wander about, make yourself known. We don't bite, too hard. I have to admit, some of us like the taste of newbies. The poem is fantastic... reminds me of a song style... hard beat/anger and hurt eveident/passion evident. Maybe it reminds me of DMX or Static-X. I enjoy the shorter line length.... it really suits this piece. I truly enjoyed this write. Keep it up. ~Titus "On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died." |
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BabieDoll Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 268BFE |
Hey everyone! I just want to thank you all for replying to my poem. I looked at other poems on here with like 11-18 replys and never thought I would get this many! I am glad you all enjoyed my piece...just remember, I have other work submitted! ~J.Lynn "In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..." |
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