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BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

0 posted 2003-02-13 07:35 PM

Stinging eyes
Burning heart
Falling tears
Tearing apart

Lies told
Secrets revealed
Stripped down
Nothing concealed

Screaming loudly
In denial
Love demolished
Purely senile

Eternity ending
Forever gone
Blank expression
Walk on

Stricken pain
Fallen apart
Forgotten memories
Broken heart *

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

Rider
New Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 7
Framingham (rural Massachusetts)

1 posted 2003-02-13 08:01 PM

very understandable, my life at school is like that everyday!

-Rider

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

2 posted 2003-02-13 08:33 PM

i liked this one jenn. different from your other ones. keep it out and welcome to the forums lol later~

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

BrokenDreams
Member

since 2003-02-09

Posts 425
In The Clouds

3 posted 2003-02-13 10:52 PM

I like the off-beat rhyme ya got goin here.

jenn

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

4 posted 2003-02-14 12:00 PM

Awesome poem! The first stanza really grabbed my attention.
Wonderful job!
I LOVE it!!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

5 posted 2003-02-17 02:46 PM

Welcome to PIP! This poems was darker than I first thought, but noneless interesting; I hope to read more of your work in the future.

Also, check your e-mail for a surprise.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

PoeTik JusTice
Member

since 2003-01-05

Posts 186
California, USA

6 posted 2003-02-17 08:42 PM

Very nice poem! Sounds like something I'd write, I can relate! Very good!

XoXo Love Alwayz XoXo
*~Serena~*
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love, and be loved in return." --Moulin Rouge

*Belabebeautiful*

Senior Member

since 2003-01-03

Posts 696
washington, USA

7 posted 2003-02-18 12:50 PM

Nicely done!! Excellent first post! I like how you didn't ever use a complete sentence more like random thoughts as they came to you, very much like what a broken heart feels like indeed! Thank you for an enjoyable read.
~Live and laugh~

People always ask me why I don't look toward my future I tell them to many interesting things are happening today.
~Bella~

Jenn Cirrincione

Member Elite

since 2000-07-02

Posts 2107
Fl

8 posted 2003-02-18 08:57 AM

One day there will be someone who picks up those pieces, and everything will just fit.

Good luck. You write well.

Jenn

"Now I'm convinced that he's heaven sent, and must be out of his mind- mama he's crazy, crazy over me."

Shady Poet
New Member

since 2003-02-17

Posts 5
USA

9 posted 2003-02-18 12:56 PM

hey nice poem.. very simple but its still good.. i liked it.. awesome job...

der is onlee one rain cloud in da sky and its rainin' on meeh...

sumhow i'm not surprised

peachesNcream
Senior Member

since 2001-08-21

Posts 513
Ocean Of Tears

10 posted 2003-02-18 08:38 PM

This was a good poem! I liked it a lot! You better post more! hehe

~Jess

"Poetry, she thought, wasn't written to be analyzed; it was meant to inspire without reason, to touch without understanding." -Nicholas Sparks

Quiet Acquiescence
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 70
somewhere out here

11 posted 2003-02-18 10:24 PM

oh wow, i really enjoyed reading this poem!!!

I can relate so much to it.
much applause!

Great job!

~*~Quiet Acquiescence~*~

~*~Courage is wings~*~

Shlee
Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 72
USA

12 posted 2003-02-19 09:04 AM

Very nice, very real. I like your style. Hearts won't always be broken though. Some day...some one will be there, a true friend. Trust me, I know. My hope is with you. Keep it up

Erin
Member Elite

since 2000-06-15

Posts 2527
~Chicago~

13 posted 2003-02-19 03:43 PM

Welcome to passions!!! I know Im a little late but its ok!!!

Great work here!!! I hope that you like your stay here!! And Im looking forward to reading more of your work!!!

~if you want something very badly set it free, if it comes back to you its yours forever, if it doesnt it was never yours to begin with~

Waterbirdfly
Junior Member

since 2003-02-16

Posts 32
China

14 posted 2003-02-19 10:59 PM

ARE YOUR HEART BROKEN?WHY?SOMETIMES I AM LIKE YOU.PASSIONS AGAIN

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

15 posted 2003-02-19 11:06 PM

Welcome to Passions, newbie!!!

And what a start you have. Please, be sure to wander about, make yourself known. We don't bite, too hard. I have to admit, some of us like the taste of newbies.

The poem is fantastic... reminds me of a song style... hard beat/anger and hurt eveident/passion evident. Maybe it reminds me of DMX or Static-X.

I enjoy the shorter line length.... it really suits this piece.

I truly enjoyed this write. Keep it up.

~Titus

"On the plains of Hesitation lie the blackend bones of countless millions, who, at the verge of victory, sat down to wait, and waiting - died."

BabieDoll
Member

since 2003-02-13

Posts 268
BFE

16 posted 2003-02-20 06:49 PM

Hey everyone!

I just want to thank you all for replying to my poem. I looked at other poems on here with like 11-18 replys and never thought I would get this many!

I am glad you all enjoyed my piece...just remember, I have other work submitted!

~J.Lynn

"In life you must dance like no one is watching, sing like no one is listening and love like it's never going to hurt..."

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