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Teen Poetry #6
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rimmie
Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 45
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada

0 posted 2003-02-13 10:36 AM


Zingzaging between the dimly lit streets
With the light of the moon being my only real guide
Turning from one street to the next amelesly half the time not even realizing where I am
My eyes planted firmly on the ground before me
Hopping only for one thing
That you will be waiting around the next corner
Yet at every turn I am welcomed by the same image of the dark deserted street before me

[This message has been edited by rimmie (02-14-2003 04:46 PM).]

© Copyright 2003 Ruz - All Rights Reserved
Skyfire
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Member Elite
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381
Riding
1 posted 2003-02-13 03:30 PM


  I'll write you an email later hon.  Hang in there... good to see you again

Monkey!!

Pollita
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 220
the unknown realm of insanity
2 posted 2003-02-13 06:39 PM


Aww!!!! whats up with you?
Are you alright? *hugs* hang in there hun,
Im here for you.
And as for the poem---great stuff!

cherish
Senior Member
since 2001-03-25
Posts 1639
swimming in fairy floss...........
3 posted 2003-02-13 08:43 PM


loved the way you wrote this rimma. but see, youre wrong. you're not alone.

Congratulations! It's a bisexual!

WinterWren
Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044
...Coming to
4 posted 2003-02-13 08:47 PM


Good poem! Very heartfelt.
The end is so sad, wow.
Great job and well done!

WinterWren
"Even a fool knows that we cannot touch the stars, but that doesn't keep the wise from trying."

rimmie
Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 45
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
5 posted 2003-02-14 04:49 PM


Thanx a lot 'yall! I actually wrote this on in class and it turned out ok so I decided to post it. Im glad you liked it.
Ina
Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236
Quebec, Canada
6 posted 2003-02-14 10:43 PM


I enjeyed the poem a lot, it was short but it didn't lack image(i love images) anyways.
It also had a very foreboding touch..dont know if u meant it, but that's what i saw
good work

Regina

"heaven truley knows that thou art false as hell...one that loved not wisely,but too well..she swore..'twas a strange ,'twas passing strange"-othello

Android 17
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Senior Member
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664
Winnipeg
7 posted 2003-02-15 02:01 AM


Short, simple---yet deep, and sweet. *crosses arms* I liked it!

Vekrdehk fyc dra uhmo drehk E fyc kuut yd...pid, yd maycd E ymfyoc vuikrd vun fryd E pameajat eh...

rimmie
Junior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 45
Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada
8 posted 2003-02-15 09:11 PM


Geee! thank you! im really glad you liked it and Regina that was what i was trying to do and im very happy you saw that.   ...Alex im glad you liked it you being as hard as you are to please im almost flattered.  

[This message has been edited by rimmie (02-16-2003 09:38 PM).]

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
9 posted 2003-02-20 07:45 PM



Rimmie~
I really like this.
I enjoyed the short and 'to the point' nature of it.
Nicely done.
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

Android 17
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Senior Member
since 2001-07-21
Posts 664
Winnipeg
10 posted 2003-02-22 02:17 AM


I think Vicky just beat the pants offa all of us again! ^_^

Vekrdehk fyc dra uhmo drehk E fyc kuut yd...pid, yd maycd E ymfyoc vuikrd vun fryd E pameajat eh...

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