Teen Poetry #6 |
The Cold |
Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
Silence sweeps this house and the walls suddenly seem hollow allowing all the cold inside to chew me up, and then swallow The pictures froze, I see a cold gaze I keep running, running from that face I'm really trying, but I don't seem to move I keep running, running from this place The cold slowly seeps into my heart in the tiny cracks from old heartaches soon it will shatter forever from a overload of mistakes All crash and no burn I fall to the ground I'm chained there no salvation can be found ...warmth evades me still... If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. [This message has been edited by Spine Grinder (01-30-2003 08:01 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Staci Weidner - All Rights Reserved | |||
PoetryIsLife
since 2001-10-27
Posts 1763...in my boxers... |
Spine, Spine, Spine... gripping! I loved it. The last line, especially. The line referring to cracks in your heart symbolic of a cracked sidewalk.... it all... the length, both of the stanzas and the poem as a whole. Loved it. "The pictures froze, I see a cold gaze" This line puzzled me; not what you meant, but why I stumbled over it when I read it. Maybe: "The picture's frozen, I see a cold gaze" or "The pictures freeze, I see a cold gaze" ~Titus Es ist gut, daß das Leben die Toten studieren sollte. [This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (01-31-2003 09:47 PM).] |
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Marshalzu
since 2001-02-15
Posts 2681Lurking |
I really enjoyed the read thanks for sharing it with us Andrew |
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xShUgArHiGhx
since 2000-09-26
Posts 3150tRyIn tO fIt iN2 mY oWn ShoEs |
Strong piece Spine Enjoyed the read! Standing on the edge of the world |
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Spine Grinder Senior Member
since 2000-10-28
Posts 1127Standing In Silence... |
thank you, i'm glad you all liked this. ur replies are much appreciated If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Spine Grinder~ This is a very well written piece, and I do believe it may be my favorite of yours. Extremely well done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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