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barbaraj
Member

since 2003-01-24

Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada

0 posted 2003-01-28 01:20 PM

No one here understands me.
I stay silent, hoping that someone
might someday hear my pain.
I wish for the strength to find my better life,
filled with endless possibilities.
My mind overflows with so many confusions,
Am I really here? The pain is so real, therefore, I must be.
This nothingness I feel could not be imagined.
I struggle to find peace; an end to this madness.
Will I ever find it?
Or am I doomed to remain forever silent?

A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes, A Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever ...

Lexy
Senior Member

since 2003-01-28

Posts 1038
California

1 posted 2003-01-28 07:09 PM

Wow, that last line hits hard. I've felt this way a lot...And it is so hard to break away from that lonely, empty feeling. I liked the part about you not knowing if you were really there. life seems so sureal sometimes. Thanks for sharing. I really enjoyed this piece.
~Lexy

Spine Grinder
Senior Member

since 2000-10-28

Posts 1127
Standing In Silence...

2 posted 2003-01-29 03:48 PM

i seriously liked this one. i can really relate to it. nice job.

If You Wanna See A Rainbow, You've Gotta Live Through The Rain. And If You Wanna See Through Love, You've Gotta Live Through The Pain.

barbaraj
Member

since 2003-01-24

Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada

3 posted 2003-01-30 02:37 PM

thank you both for reading my poem.

A Person Who Asks A Question Is A Fool For Five Minutes, A Person Who Doesn't Is A Fool Forever ...

[This message has been edited by barbaraj (01-30-2003 02:38 PM).]

P.R.C
Junior Member

since 2003-01-31

Posts 40
Hull, England

4 posted 2003-01-31 07:16 PM

Hi, I have felt like that a lot. I related to it in many ways. Very good piece of work

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

5 posted 2003-01-31 08:22 PM

Hiya.

A good piece, here. It was a pleasure to read. Very.... straightforward. Which is nice in poetry, if not always comfortable.

I noticed that some of your lines seemed to be two lines of the poem... is that the way you wrote the poem, the way you heard it in your head?

If you just randomly formatted it like that, then, cool.

If not, here is the way I might add it. To compliment the flow, I added 'somewhere' in the first stanza, I think it was. Just my thoughts.

"No one here understands me.
I stay silent,
hoping that someone, someday
might someday hear my pain.

I wish for the strength
to find my better life,
filled with endless possibilities.
My mind overflows
with so many confusions,
Am I really here?
The pain is so real,
therefore, I must be.

This nothingness I feel
could not be imagined.
I struggle to find peace;
an end to this madness.
Will I ever find it?

Or am I doomed to remain forever silent?"

Please understand this might be the way my style interpits your poem. I'm not like everyone else, you know? Everyone has their own style. So, do your thing. :0

~Titus

Studieren Sie die Toten für das Leben.

[This message has been edited by PoetryIsLife (01-31-2003 08:30 PM).]

barbaraj
Member

since 2003-01-24

Posts 139
Nova Scotia, Canada

6 posted 2003-02-01 05:09 PM