Teen Poetry #6 |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
There is something different about this one..I'm not sure what it is I can't quite put my finger on it but something... I thought at last the pain had passed And my feelings for you were through, But my thoughts lied... for again I cried When I slept and my dreams were of you. So vivid a picture- I felt it was real As we sat holding hands by the sea I stared in your eyes, looked deep in your soul And I knew by your side would I be. As the dream carried on the sea sang it's song So we danced to the tune that it played But the song wouldn't stay for the dream wore away And I cried for the fool I portrayed. I awoke filled with fear, surrounded in tears Still hurt from the pains of the past A mistake I had made, each night I have paid Now I wonder how long it will last… Live and laugh and make sure to always have Bella Amor (beautiful love) |
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the_jazzician Junior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 30 |
Wow !! this is such a beautiful poem , its sad though but very very good. Try not to get down by any decisions you've made in the past , we all learn from our mistakes and one day we all see that those things which we considered mistakes at the time have in fact shaped our lives for the best "First remove the plank from your own eye so you can see better to remove the splinter from your brother's eye" - Jesus |
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smurf_gurl Junior Member
since 2003-01-20
Posts 19US of A |
I loved your rhyme scheme. and the poem itself is darling. I can connect with it though because I'vebeen down that road...it was long and winding, full of ups and downs. but you'll get through it, especially if you write ~Stace Boredom is killing me... |
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WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
Woah, That one is so awesome! You can't possibly imagine how much I love this poem!! It's definitly a keeper for my library. GREAT job! WinterWren |
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OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245 |
WOW thats really really really good. Literally breathtaking. |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
Thank you for your comments guys! They mean a lot to me. I'm glad you like the poem. Live and laugh and make sure to always have Bella Amor (beautiful love) |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
I loved this... dreams are fickle. It actually reminded me of the verse to "You are my sunshine." You know? The song? I love that song... A very well done poem. Kielo I know only one thing, and that thing is that I know nothing. |
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