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dinky
Member

since 2002-10-19

Posts 258

0 posted 2003-01-19 08:56 PM

What do you want from me?
To see me cry,
to make me wish i had died?
i want to hate you but i cant
you make me feel only pain,
but from this i will gain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

this was too short wasnt it >>>

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

PoeticGoddessOfDepression
Member

since 2002-07-02

Posts 439
I am everywhere

1 posted 2003-01-19 09:49 PM

I liked this. I liked the last line, cuz you gain something from everything... ya know?
lol, i guess u did, cuz you wrote it.

heh, i'm a idiot.

No, it's not too short.

take care :-D

~sara~

"Dreams are bad when all they do is leave the truth behind.
Dreams are bad when negativity's a state of mind."
-silverchair-

Jaime

Registered

Member
Posts 250

2 posted 2003-01-19 10:56 PM

I don't feel like it was too short. People always seem to think that the best poems are long and painful to read. Personally, I don't have enough of an attention span for long poems.

I liked it because it's true. It's not a good idea to genuinely hate a person nor is it a good idea to close your mind to a situation and not learn from it.

- Jaime

Shiva went on break now look at how much it's gonna take to make this place a space where we can breathe.

CwboyAtHeart
Senior Member

since 2001-04-14

Posts 541
Selah, WA, USA

3 posted 2003-01-19 11:46 PM

It was short, but definitely not too short. You said a lot in those 6 lines. Very well written, you did an awesome job getting the point across.

      - Cody -

Note To Self:  If Pigs Can Fly, So Can I!!!

If someboy laughs at me, does that make me funny or just plain stupid?

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

4 posted 2003-01-20 03:51 PM

I would've done it longer myself, but you got the point accross. Nicely done.

~Titus

"A life unexamined is not worth living."
-Socrates

devinechild22
Senior Member

since 2002-08-28

Posts 571

5 posted 2003-01-20 05:33 PM

I liked it. I think that you get more out of shot poems 1) Because you actually read them and 2) When there are a bunch of words you may lose track of the real feeling you are supposed to get from the poem in some cases. I like short poems that get to the point because of those 2 reasons. Cause if a poem is long I lose my interest. This was really good! I wouldn`t change a thing!
*Allison*

"O My love
Please don`t cry
I`ll wash my bloody hands
And well start a new life"
-Good Charlotte

[This message has been edited by devinechild22 (01-20-2003 05:34 PM).]

foreverwithyou
Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 204
Wonderland

6 posted 2003-01-20 06:54 PM

this was not too too short i mean it was pretty short but i too like short poems cuz a poem has to be pretty short or i cant read it i literally cant "the shear macanics of it are mindboggeling"
LOL good job sam
CATHY

"I am who I am who I am who am I?"

dinky
Member

since 2002-10-19

Posts 258

7 posted 2003-01-20 09:09 PM

hey,
thx everybody for replyin
i guess it wasnt too short after all
i'm just used to writin longer ones
thx again for sharin ur commments, it means a lot
~samantha~

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

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