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Krystin18
Junior Member

since 2003-01-19

Posts 20
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2003-01-19 07:32 PM

Feelings hidden deep inside,
consealed behind the gloom.
A trecherous tragedy learning to consume,
Has conquered the lives of many.
And the love between two people,
Has slowly fallen apart.
A love once there, is now lost
Secret feelings and forgotten thoughts.
Two empty people,
Living their separate lives.
Now wandering empty handed,
ALone in this desert world.
How quick time flew by for them,
When their lives were suddenly changed.
Pushed apart by differences,
that they had no will to overcome.
What once was can never be again,
Amoment lost forever.
Still loving one another,
Sharing a past with a life now destroyed.
Two mourning souls left in the dark,
Two people so close,
Yet so far apart.

PoetryIsLife

Senior Member

since 2001-10-27

Posts 1763
...in my boxers...

1 posted 2003-01-20 03:23 PM

The one thing that impressed me the most about this poem is how superbly you had the whole scope of the poem within the poem. Hmm... maybe I'm not saying it right. From beginning, through the middle, up to the end, it seemed like the poem had no more and no less then it needed. You told the story you wanted, and did no more. It was a well-written piece, newbie.

Welcome to Passions... please, check your email for a special greeting.

~Titus

"A life unexamined is not worth living."
-Socrates

smurf_gurl
Junior Member

since 2003-01-20

Posts 19
US of A

2 posted 2003-01-20 07:56 PM

A WONDERFUL first poem, and welcome to PIP. I hope you like it as much here as I did in the past, well, and will now that I'm back again. Anyway, it was short, sweet, and to the point, told exactly what you wanted it to say, like said above. I look forward to hearing from you again, you are very talented.
~Stace

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2003-01-20 10:22 PM

WOW! Excellent and wonderful and great first post!! I really LOVED this poem!
You have a way with words, they seem to like you.

Great job you have alot of talent, and I'll be looking for more of yours.

Welcome to Pip, by the way.

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change?" -Dishwalla-

Cinderelly
Member

since 2001-12-31

Posts 189
NM, USA

4 posted 2003-01-21 12:39 PM

Great poem!

Ephraim
Junior Member

since 2002-12-07

Posts 24

5 posted 2003-01-23 02:46 AM

"A trecherous tragedy learning to consume,
Has conquered the lives of many.
And the love between two people,
Has slowly fallen apart."

I'm speechless.

E.

leo_babe
Junior Member

since 2003-01-22

Posts 13

6 posted 2003-01-23 03:28 AM

I really like your poem...keep on writing more great stuff for us to read

anonymousfemale
Member Elite

since 2000-02-02

Posts 2797
Limbo

7 posted 2003-01-23 10:38 AM

welcome to Passions

As much as I hate love pieces of any kind, this caught me because it was on the darker side which is a good thing. You had some great lines which captured the emotions well and also some great imagery.

Hopefully we'll see more from you around the board. Remember to reply as well as post, please.

~AF~

"Write something, even if it's just a suicide note." -- Gore Vidal

Krystin18
Junior Member

since 2003-01-19

Posts 20
Ontario, Canada

8 posted 2003-01-23 10:15 PM

hehehe thanx :P

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