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ShadyMakaveli
Member

since 2002-08-21

Posts 128

0 posted 2003-01-19 01:30 AM

Finding myself asking what's the use
Having doubts about serenity
Nothing seems to make sense anymore
Not even sure of my identity
So much pain I wish I could ignore

Problems piling on top of each other
Buried with no way out
Troubled and left on my own
Stresses of life I could do without
Tried hard to hide the unknown

Surrounded by dark yet all is brought to light
All situations are thought through
Plagued with a never stopping mind
Reality is harsh, sad but true
To ignore reality is to live blind

Life can be good or bad but never fair
Make the best with what life hands you
Second chances are hard to come by
Challenges I've overcome, with time I grew
Still not perfect, learning til the day I die

I don't know how much i like this, but it's what came out, so it's what i'm feeling and that's all that matters. So i figured i'd share, what do you all think?

[This message has been edited by ShadyMakaveli (01-19-2003 05:41 PM).]

wvplayernotreally
Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 215
yakima wa

1 posted 2003-01-19 01:57 AM

"Life can be good or bad but never fair
Make the best with what life hands you
Second chances are hard to come by
Challenges I've overcome, with time I grew
Still not perfect, learing til the day I die"

Good Job...It was fine...the best stuff is when it just comes out I think I really like the line:
"Tried hard to hide the unknown"

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2003-01-19 11:56 AM

Hello Shady!
I enjoyed this write, and encourage you to keep writing daily. You've indicated a desire for critiques, so I'll just point out a few minor flubs:

'shure' should be sure,
buried, not 'burried'

and a tiny typo, learing I assumed was just missing an 'n'

Have a great weekend!

dinky
Member

since 2002-10-19

Posts 258

3 posted 2003-01-19 09:47 PM

hey,
i luved this!!
~samantha~

"sometimes i just feel like
quittin i still might
why do i put up this fight?
why do i still write?"

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

4 posted 2003-01-20 12:28 PM

Well I really loved this poem! Im finding I really like and can relate to alot of yours. Great poem!

WinterWren
"I want you to believe in life. Will you find out who you are too late, to change?" -Dishwalla-

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