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Teen Poetry #6
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The Girl That Would Never Do
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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The Girl That Would Never Do |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania 
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and i know i'll never be the image you made, the one that you want part of your cherade. even though i want to i know i never will, it was all just a game and i want you still. i know i'll never be your angel in disguise cause you had to use me tease me with your lies. i tell myself to forget secret love that i found i try, i try to no avail my love won't be unwound. i want to share some too good to be true nights and fulfill my promises under cover of starlight. i know i'll never be the girl the world wants i know i'll always be the one the world daunts. and maybe someday i'll share my myth wih you but for now i'll just be the girl that won't do. ~*~Born to Blossom and Bloom to Perish~*~ |
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| © Copyright 2002 Susan Acacio - All Rights Reserved | |||
skyshine 
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
I've been there too. Well written, Angel. --Beth Howl at the stars, whisper when you're sleeping, I'll be there to hold you, I'll be there to stop the chills and all the weeping. |
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Kielo Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109 |
Very beautiful, often very true. Kielo [This message has been edited by Kielo (09-14-2002 12:51 AM).] |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Beth and Kielo, Thank you both very much for reading. ~Suzy |
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sean_krazy Junior Member
since 2002-09-14
Posts 33 |
pretty well written... even i feel the way u do..one who the world doesnt want...but daunts...and haunts. later sean (sean_krazy) |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
I love your closing stanza. This entire poem rings with the importance of respect for ourselves as individuals. What a beautiful philosophy you've set forth. Bravo.  Parasite Learn to place poetry before people |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Angel- You've done a great job of expressing these feelings. I really enjoyed reading this. VERY well done. ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
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pharon Member
since 1999-11-13
Posts 251alabama |
wow...i can't tell you how much i feel your pain on this one. i like the way you wrote it..very good!! thank you for putting into words what i haven't been able to. |
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quietlydying
since 2001-06-10
Posts 935the wonderful land of oz |
i think you should try using capital letters when necessary. they give the impression that you take your poetry very seriously. i think it would add a lot to the piece. good write nonetheless. /jen/ so foul and fair a day i have not seen. - macbeth act 1, scene 3 |
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Angel Senior Member
since 1999-07-02
Posts 551Pennsylvania |
Vicky, Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. pharon, Thank you as well. I put a lot of thought into this one although the emotions are not what I'm feeling right now, or had been feeling for a while. jen, I apologize that you did not like the style of this one, but the lack of capital letters was intentional. Every other poem I've written has paid close attention to capitalization. It was specifically done to get across the idea of how my narrator feels insecure and has low self esteem. I knew it wouldn't work for everyone but thank you for sharing your opinion. It's greatly appreciated. ~*~Born to Blossom and Bloom to Perish~*~ |
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anawnda Member
since 2002-07-26
Posts 113 |
I know how this feels, i am in love with a guy who loves my sister and treats me like his younger sister only. it sucks, love sucks. but this poem rocks * you can hurt me...with your bare hands,or |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
"The girl that would never do" Ha, I find that unlikely! You can't just think so low of yourself due to some negative happening. You must press on. Ultimately, you are a girl that will do, and do quite fine, mind you. Maybe you're just not seeing that, but I am positive others are  Great poem, you captured your thoughts rather well.  This post has been brought to you by the 'Totally Awesome Society of Puerto Rican Egotistical Sexy Men'. |
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Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*thinks* *hugs* I love the way you started this off with the "and"! It's so great! It sucks that you feel this way though... I've been there (still am) and know how badly it sucks. *hugs again* |
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