Teen Poetry #6 |
Problems of our own |
Taurus42285 New Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 7 |
Problems of our own We all in other countries business we need to try to fix ours The last time i checked we still had plenty of problems Besides the towers poverty increase by the hour The streets devour our bodies and keep blood bleaching our towels They so worried about Saddam and Osama Bin But i contend that first we need to fix our ecomony Its hard 2 see the pain of our sisters and brothers U got girls younger than me bout 2 b mothers and Im 17 and like Martin i have a dream But they seem ahead of me and receiving a head of steam 14 already lying bout things Hit a growth spurt now they lying bout their age Also days is hard people get laid off Now a good paying job is playing war Being moved like pawns trying 2 see in the dark Some aint reaching a mark cause they speak from the heart And it goes against what others stand for So they re proclaimed as wrong, it seems like our leaders r gone Replaced by a Bush from the forest Call me crazy but we had only minor war problems when Clinton was in office Now we worried bout nuclear weapons instead of hearing lessons That are taught 2 us by teachers and parents Speaking of teachers their unsung heroes of countries Cause everybody gotta learn something But yet one of the most important positions couldnt pay 4 a tutition Or afford a business things should b diffrent And we re still somewhat blind 2 what minorities face We really need 2 get our priorities straight. |
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© Copyright 2003 Taurus42285 - All Rights Reserved | |||
Stinky Twinkie Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204Dinwiddie |
William, this was right nice. It was cool as all get out when you read it in class today. That's all I can think of to write. -Stinky Twinkie- |
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BrokenAngel Member
since 2002-01-06
Posts 141Puryear, TN, USA |
I'm going to be blunt on my reply to this work and if I offend you I'm sorry. But yes we have probelms of our own here but when they attacked us, they made there problems ours. The poem is nicely written, but the subject of it is what I don't like. Your entitled to your own views yes, but so am I so I decided to voice what I feel on the situation. I am a future United States Marine so I will end up over there fighting. But I see that our armed forces get very little respect for the things they do for us and it makes me mad I admit. Again, nicely written poem, but to me, bad subject. Read my work and read my thoughts |
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WindSong Member
since 2002-12-23
Posts 313Long Island, New York |
I liked this, but it was hard to read. something's just didn't flow as nicely as they good. Otherwise....it was alright....see ya ~*~kirah~*~ *Mistakes are made, you pay for them, then you do it again.* |
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WindSong Member
since 2002-12-23
Posts 313Long Island, New York |
PS...I agree with BrokenAngel.....Good luck!!! *Mistakes are made, you pay for them, then you do it again.* |
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