Teen Poetry #6 |
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If You Hit A Woman |
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Hallucination Member
since 2001-03-18
Posts 419 |
"If You Hit A Woman" (27/12/02) © 2002 Brian Eggertsen, All Rights Reserved Verse 1 You hear about it everyday Once inch more she'd been dead, How does he get up in the morn' That I really don't get. How can they even lay a hand On someone that they love, Sometimes a strong woman speaks up Finally had enough. Refrain If you hit a woman once, You're one of those types that I cannot stand. If you hit a woman twice, You have no right to call yourself a man. No right at all, no right at all.. If you hit a woman...if you hit her. Verse 2 Got a mark big as a billbord Printed on both her eyes, Got a Hairdug like a haystak Mascarra tears she cries. Cuddled like a friden kitten Sitting at the bustop, Yet another strong woman that Finally had enough... Refrain Bridge It needa change It gotta change It stops here... (x3) Refrain |
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© Copyright 2002 Brian Eggertsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Stinky Twinkie Member
since 2002-11-26
Posts 204Dinwiddie |
I agree, hitting women is terrible. Now, for the poem/song: It wasn't my favorite, but you have a talent for writing lyrics. I liked the way that you described the bruises and marks on the woman's face. What kind of music is this that you play? I'm imagining something like an acoustic/coffee house type of person.......or maybe not, I dont know. -Stinky Twinkie- |
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OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245 |
I agree! Hitting a woman is horrible! Hmm well I like most of your lyrics this one I felt was a little too easy for you to write. I also don't understand you're position in the song, as an innocent bystander? It doesn't seem it shows the feelings of the woman as in depth as it could... Don't mean to be harsh at all just a few ideas... Love your writing anyway kid. -othersideofthemirror |
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Erin Member Elite
since 2000-06-15
Posts 2527~Chicago~ |
WOW!!! I think that you did a very good job writing this. So many thoughts come to mind while I read this not from personal experience but just from knowing people that have gone through this. Im really glad that you shared it. ~if you want something very badly set it free, if it comes back to you its yours forever, if it doesnt it was never yours to begin with~ |
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aries_luv_ppl Senior Member
since 2001-09-20
Posts 1448Universal Mind |
yes, hitting women is horrible... Eliza Simmons |
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Ina Senior Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 1236Quebec, Canada |
hitting anyone is wrong...men get abused just as well as women....being hit my someone you care about is the worst thing, some of us know that...but dont want to do anything... as for your lyrics, they were alright someone said they didnt understand your position, neither do i.... there was something missing... anyways keep writng regina |
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