Teen Poetry #6 |
Jill's poem(Long) |
aaron woodside Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256 |
Hey everyone. Here's my new one. Kinna long, but tell me what you think. Jill's Poem I If only you were mine I'd stare helpless into those eyes of thine and give of myself anything for my joyous heart would sing of all your precious wonders your spell I've fallen under your eyes bewitching there can be no denying by Her design your touch divine cross the line and intertwine your fate and mine My dear Jill, can't you see for you what I could be all that you've hoped for I'll cherish and adore by your resign. II I wish that I could be all you'll ever need see a white horse and knight armour shimmering and bright amid Helio's rays by your side through the days holding close through the night your passions ignite when with me and me with thee you hold the key Oh Jill Marie for us to be we The simple things you do drew me into you and never will I leave if its your hearts reprieve a lovers decree. III The freckles on your face every one perfectly placed they can only add to the beauty I see in you and starry nights fair to your eyes; can't compare their bluish, greyish hue shows your soul true they show your grace and sugar and lace and my place in your embrace, my breathing space for no matter how low I go in my pains and woe no matter the tears I've cried with you now by my side I know, I"m no disgrace. IV But I'm not the man for you even though my heart is true because I've tried and tried and everytime been denied In your heart I've lit no fire I've left something to desire to which you oft implied but through my selfish pride I knew we were through so now I take my cue sit and construe of what I should do without you I'm wholly inadequate and full of regret and I don't understand what guided your hand to finally say adieu. V Jill, it's a more then a shame that it didn't work out between us but to know you, and to have kissed you I count myself lucky and blessed. Comment away. ex animo, Aaron Woodside There are no great men, only men in great circumstances. |
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© Copyright 2002 aaron woodside - All Rights Reserved | |||
WinterWren Senior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 1044...Coming to |
That was a very good poem. I liked the way you put some it in the old syle of writing That's hard to do, for me anyway, maybe for you it's easy. I don't know. WinterWren |
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Angelwings Member
since 1999-08-27
Posts 222IL, USA |
Long time no talk Aaron. I like this poem. I wonder if you remember me. I like the old style of writing. It's nice to know some of us are still finding inspiration. Good luck in all the future writing. If we're told we're bad, that's the only idea we'll ever have. Maybe if we are surrounded by beauty someday we will become what we see. |
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aaron woodside Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256 |
Chelsea!!!!! ya long time no talk. Been about as long as it's been since I've emailed Amy from on here. You posted this the same time as I was posting something to someone else. I'll give ya a call soon. And no I'm not really all that inspired. Just another girl, only this time an amazing one(which I don't deserve) deciding I'm not good enough. :sigh, Wonder what I did wrong this time. She says I did nothing wrong, but how else can I see it when she tells me she don't want a b/f then less then a week later gets one, with a guy she just met. Funny thing is she still tells me theirs a chance between us. I dont know what to do. Crazy women, I'm tired of em all. j/k Catch ya later. ex animo, Aaron Woodside There are no great men, only men in great circumstances. [This message has been edited by aaron woodside (12-23-2002 01:20 AM).] |
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HopelessRomanticGuy Member
since 2001-08-17
Posts 495LI, New York |
Aww.. this was a very sweet, and WELL written poem! I liked it, it seemed to follow the entire relationship. I got one question. Was this written all at once or sections over a period of time? Well, either way, I loved the poem and hope to see more! -Rich "You can't hurt meee!! 'Cause I've got on my cheeeeese helmet!" |
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aaron woodside Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256 |
All at once. When I'm in a relationship I like, I don't forget much. sigh. ex animo, Aaron Woodside There are no great men, only men in great circumstances. |
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OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245 |
I LOVE THIS! You're response on mine said you're not a good poet... Hmm I think YOU DEFINITELY ARE AN AWESOME POET! Ok I'm sorry but any girl who ditched those words has some serious issues. You're so sweet kid! much luv -othersideofthemirror |
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aaron woodside Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256 |
Thnx other. Lol that's what I'll have to call you since you don't post a name, and I forgot to check your copyright. If you want the whole story check the discussion forum-the alley-and the thread if you have something to scream about. I wrote a bit over there. Thanx again. ex animo, Aaron Woodside There are no great men, only men in great circumstances. |
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OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245 |
Hmm, I'm a bit new at this and I honestly cannot find whatever you're talking about! Haha okay giggle at me but I looked... in any case great poem, and my name... ~*Cassi |
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aaron woodside Member
since 2001-09-26
Posts 256 |
Instead of going to the poetry forum go to the discussion forum. Go to "The Alley" and find the thread Something to scream about. It's under that thread. Hope that helps Cassi. ex animo, Aaron Woodside There are no great men, only men in great circumstances. |
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OtherSideOfTheMirror Member
since 2002-12-19
Posts 245 |
Okay I said I'm new not stupid... I of course went to the Alley I just couldn't find your thread! I did however go back after reading your message and found this thread and responded... Thanks for helpin me out!!! I won't be naive to this site for too much longer... I hope... :-/ -othersideofthemirror |
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CloudedDreams Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 210My Fantasy Realm |
I know that this poem was posted a while back, but I just wanted to respond to it because I haven't had the chance to. I am really sorry that this situation has happened to you. I really hope you move on okay. this poem is very emotional and touching. It is very deep and the voice is loud and clear. This is a beautiful write. Hope to hear more, and hope things are a bit brighter. |
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