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Hyper Sensitive
New Member

since 2002-12-18

Posts 6
a somnambulist society

0 posted 2002-12-18 05:26 PM

I'm not good with introductions, so my name is Heatherlynne, I'm 17, and this poem is really bad, but I'm going to post it anyway. I'll be around commenting and posting...

Yo-Yo in Disguise

You bring me up slowly,
hold me in your hand,
firm grip, holding tight,
only to quickly release
my heart and mind,
from your strong grasp.
you walk me around,
like i'm a puppy dog,
dragging and scraping,
my feelings on the floor.
you spin me around the world,
making me dizzy and confused,
and when your done,
you stuff me back in a drawer,
only to come back later
to use me, over and over again.

-heatherlynne-

"I'm all by myself, the way I wanna be." - Silverchair

rOxXbabY391
Member

since 2002-12-14

Posts 71

1 posted 2002-12-18 05:59 PM

What are you talking about this isnt a good poem??? This was an awesome poem i loved the relation with the yo-yo
Great Poem!! :-D
~*~eMiLy~*~

"I don't think I can make it through one more night. 'Cause how do you answer "What's wrong?" ~ when nothing is right."

BrokenAngel
Member

since 2002-01-06

Posts 141
Puryear, TN, USA

2 posted 2002-12-18 06:32 PM

I can't see how this is a bad poem. The example you used with the yo-yo really fit what your saying. Welcome to Passions!!!! And don't be so quick to judge your work, I loved it, in my library, hope to see more of your work soon!!!

Welcome to Passions again!!!

Read my work and read my thoughts
I'll go back into the night now
---Night Angel

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2002-12-18 11:32 PM

Very good first post! Quit being too hard on yourself, it was very expressive and well written! And welcome to passions by the way, I'll be looking for more of yours.

wvplayernotreally
Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 215
yakima wa

4 posted 2002-12-18 11:42 PM

Great poem! Wow great way of expressing some feelings we lack the words for...nice to see a new name :-\ :-D well welcome to passions I am looking forward to more of your posts

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

Allysa

Senior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 1952
In an upside-down garden

5 posted 2002-12-19 11:34 AM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!

I am the welcoming wagon, dang it... Hey, my name is Alyssa (or Allysa, doesn't matter...) and I just wanted to say hello. Welcome to this place, if you have any questions, let me know...

Great first post!

"Wie ein Quadrat in einem Kreis, eck' ich immer wieder an obwohl ich doch schon lange weiß, daß ich niemals ändern kann." ~Wizo

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 245

6 posted 2002-12-19 08:35 PM

sweet poem! I'm a newbie too... it takes trust and guts to post I tell ya... but heres the truth- THAT POEM IS GOOD. it shows potential for the future while it describes well feelings with everyday things. Its easy to relate too as well. Good job!

-TheOtherSideOfTheMirror

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