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Petey
Junior Member

since 2002-12-16

Posts 27
Idaho, USA

0 posted 2002-12-17 07:57 PM

Tell You

I don't know why,
But I just can't show you.
And I don't know why
I just can't ignore you.
I don't know why
I respond to your every call.
And I don't know why
You're the biggest distraction of all.

I can't tell you
Who you are to me.
I can't show you
What you're love would mean.
It's me forever only for you.
Deep in my mind I tell you a lie.
If you only knew
My heart would tell why.
Because my heart only says what's true.

I hope I can tell you someday.
I need to tell you the truth.
I wish you'd understand, I pray.
This is what I must do.
Must find the right words to say.
So I don't run in place.
I don't want it to be the same.
Can't stumble and fall.
I don't know why
You're the biggest distraction of all.
-Petey

Those who live by the sword, get shot by those who don't.

wvplayernotreally
Member

since 2002-11-06

Posts 215
yakima wa

1 posted 2002-12-17 10:29 PM

Good post...i can really relate

" I think I got a tan from the light in which i was basking."

xxxnuttyangelxxx
Member

since 2002-12-06

Posts 72
New York

2 posted 2002-12-17 10:47 PM

well done, I liked the rythem in this poem. Good write, keep it up =)

shea

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

3 posted 2002-12-21 02:33 AM

Petey~
I like this one.
I enjoyed the rhythm and flow and
you've expressed your thoughts well.
Nicely done.
~Vicky
"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

CloudedDreams
Member

since 2002-11-23

Posts 210
My Fantasy Realm

4 posted 2002-12-21 09:23 PM

I was once this way w/ someone. I can totally identify w/ this song. Great Job!

OtherSideOfTheMirror
Member

since 2002-12-19

Posts 245

5 posted 2002-12-21 10:16 PM

"I can't show you
What you're love would mean."

I liked this line, it's important.

"I don't want it to be the same.
Can't stumble and fall.
I don't know why
You're the biggest distraction of all."

I CANNOT TELL U HOW MUCH I LOOOOOOOVE that last rhyme. I love it. no other words. Sorry just, love that. LOVE IT! HEAR ME? LOVE THAT RHYME~!

ok well obviously I liked your poem.

-OtherSideOfTheMirror

aries_luv_ppl
Senior Member

since 2001-09-20

Posts 1448
Universal Mind

6 posted 2002-12-21 10:42 PM

oh once upon a time, I wish a friend of mine said this to me, but it never happened. Don't let her wait for so long! Keep writing...

Eliza Simmons
~Sometimes when I look back at what I wrote, I don't recognize the 'Me' in the past anymore.

Petey
Junior Member

since 2002-12-16

Posts 27
Idaho, USA

7 posted 2002-12-22 03:57 PM

Thanks everyone.

I'll be sure to post more of my stuff.

Heavens Tears

Senior Member

since 2001-03-15

Posts 677

8 posted 2002-12-22 08:25 PM

Very nice job! I especially like the end. The repitition of "I don't know why" worked really well. I get annoyed by certain repitition in poems, but I thought you did a nice job here. Can't wait to see more!

*Me*
I'm pasteing my smile back on just to please you... I always knew Elmer's glue was good for something...

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