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Teen Poetry #6
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A Wish To Grant
| Teen Poetry #6 |
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A Wish To Grant |
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Avis Junior Member
since 2002-12-01
Posts 38Raleigh, NC, USA |
I wish we could start over. I loved to be with you, Like a bee upon a clover. Why can't we start anew? Birds chirped when you smiled. They sang when you laughed. An adult yet a child; Human, yet seraph. I treasured every word you spoke; each and every time, But the day that our tie broke, My heart became a lime. I wish we could start over. I long to be with you, Like a bee without a clover. Why can't we start anew? Written: 12/12/02 Dedication: To those who did it wrong the first time Peace and Love, |
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| © Copyright 2002 Kevin M. Sykes - All Rights Reserved | |||
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NSnaomian Member
since 2002-07-22
Posts 232In my troll closet I be |
I like your relation between a bee without a clover, very well thought out on that one...Cute too. I enjoyed this, thanks for posting it! Laura "All that I desire to point out is the general principle that Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life." |
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Kellie_Cantrell Senior Member
since 2002-05-22
Posts 1667New York |
I really like the images.Correction "I love the images" that come across. When you relate the human relationship, to the relationship between a bee and a clover. you set an emotion that leads to more and a hunger. |
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Rainbowdust Member
since 2002-12-05
Posts 320Sydney, Australia |
Hey Kev, The first thing I noticed about this was the way you rhymed non predictably. The part human, part seraph rhyme was my fave; well done! The soul would have no rainbows, had the eyes no tears. |
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CloudedDreams Member
since 2002-11-23
Posts 210My Fantasy Realm |
"But the day that our tie broke, My heart became a lime." I love that line, it is different from whatwe are used to, and it expresses the feeling just the same Yes there will be tommorrow, but will you be there to greet it? |
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