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Gabriel Frost
Member

since 2002-08-15

Posts 216
Between midnight thoughts

0 posted 2002-08-20 12:11 PM

I have submerged myself in the ocean of love,
To experience happiness.
I have lost myself in the desert of hope,
To find love.
But the ocean of love has drowned me in its boundless depths,
And its acidic currents have disintegrated my flesh and bones to nothingness.
Leaving only my heart to beat in a bubble,
With air for my lungs to breathe,
Taking one more breath for you,
As my heart pulsates the rhythm of your soul.
The essence of me is equated,
To a knot tied in a string,
You are the string and I the knot,
Loose the string and I would vanish.
Take your love and I cease to exist.
Yet as I roam the desert of hope,
I see your smiling face,
Reading your lips saying,"I love you,"
So I rush to your tender embrace.
I wrap my arms around you tightly,
And suddenly you disappear,
Taking your "i love you" with you,
And I realise you were never there.
Slowly it dawns on me,
As the sands shift under my feet,
That this desert of "hope" is empty,
And what I hope for...Is you to love me.
But all you were is a mirage,
That's why i'm here holding myself,
For your love I never had,
The thing I miss, I have never felt.

Krishankins

Senior Member

since 2002-06-23

Posts 972
Texas

1 posted 2002-08-20 12:13 PM

"The thing I miss, I have never felt"
Great line!!
This is such a lonely piece.

Madame Chipmunk
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-12-05

Posts 8296
Michigan

2 posted 2002-08-20 12:18 PM

This is a beautiful piece, Gabriel...
I love your imagery and the way you use your words....
But one little criticism...I hope you don't mind...
I really think that it could benefit from some line breaks. They would make the poem a bit easier to read...

~ chattering hugs

Lyra

copyright2002 Lyra Nesius

"poetry is life distilled" Gwendolyn Brooks

Gabriel Frost
Member

since 2002-08-15

Posts 216
Between midnight thoughts

3 posted 2002-08-20 12:21 PM

Thanks!
I guess i wasn't thinking too straight when i wrote this last night.
I was in alot of confusion, and pain.
Thanks 4 commenting on this distorted rant.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2002-08-30 10:58 AM

confusion and pain almost always bring out good writing! I like this one and the last lines sure made a good ending!

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

5 posted 2002-08-30 11:04 AM

Gabriel,
The confusion of love, Enjoyed.

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

6 posted 2002-08-30 11:37 AM

THIS is so beautiful.....even in all its many confusions.....peace to you.....hugsss
Lauren~

The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind pretend I am weightless and in this moment I am happy

HopeS
Member Elite

since 2000-12-22

Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia

7 posted 2002-08-30 11:41 AM

yes delusion and confusion
with the pain and the loss , it can sure send emotions into chaos ]
Hope

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

8 posted 2002-08-30 12:42 PM

Gabriel - a most sad but most beautiful write from a warm heart. Best to you...

BC

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