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Open Poetry #22
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Crossing fields of Cane (Iambe's family)
| Open Poetry #22 |
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Crossing fields of Cane (Iambe's family) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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I used to live across the street. (If that's what you call road...) A trailer in the Texas heat without a tree around and stickers stick in young'ns feet and cockle-burrs that slide down hair. And oh-we-all looked Mexican-- because we painted lungs red clay. There was once a mother there-- I saw her hanging clothes on line. Sometimes? A great big semi-truck (she dropped the basket in disgust) ushering the children in-- but Dillon always ran the fields... away from rumbling, tumbling wheels. She knew it wasn't daddy... One year? We all got the ring worm and a social worker came-- She brought us lots of fruits in cans examining each thread of hair and said we'd got it pulling cane explaining much too patiently how children tend to scratch an itch-- while dirt beneath the nail remained and planted little worms in skin-- little Eve to Adam Sin implanted in our blood-- It took me 15 years to touch myself, with any luck... "Persistantly" applies the Saint. Until one day a semi-truck-- one I'd never seen before pulled into the trailer park (I saw her sitting on the porch) Their mom was always dressed like gold but this day she shined insane I watched her kiss them all goodbye-- as Dillon split the fields of cane... She gave Iambe her gold ring-- She actually held handkerchief. She touched it to her eye and I thought, well, "what the hell is this?" She was wearing stockings on a hot west Texas day-- m'god she was a funeral fried baking in the dry red clay... Jake was the only one who cried-- Iambe held him on her hip. I watched that baby wave "bye-bye"-- I think Iambe's finger slipped-- her middle finger tilted cap-- I watched her mom blow kisses-- then? Iambe never once looked back. Dillon ran the fields of cane... Jake learned to walk like we all do-- 'cept his bruises bore red clay... [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (10-04-2002 08:20 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Interesting...James |
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Mysteria 
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Okay...I want to be the very first person to purchase your book when you finish it if this is any indication of how you are going to hold my attention. Karen, this was absolutely fantastic, it truly was. I have to tell you next to another one of yours I love this is my second favorite LOL, okay so I confess - I forget the title LOL, but I do love it whatever it's called. Saving this one, just love this. Howdy Neighbour |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Excellent! The images were wonderful and the story continues! |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
my my.... indeed your talent is showing... you guys tell the stories better than I do...and add depths of humanity to the whole idea... BRAVO!!!!! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Written so well, Karen...you colored the family, and made each an individual, peeking out your windows. Yes, bravo! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
serenity, Love the way you write. Exceptional piece. Enjoyed. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
The moment of parting. I like Iambe's sly gesture, and the red clay of these hard tears. (plus, you can open these words just like fruit in cans -- I love how you say that. Not canned fruit, but fruit in cans. You poet, you.  ) |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Damn, this is splendid!! |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Aw, shucks. This was a fine slice po' folk. and the depth you created (for each) with just so many words......Shoot! ~Ed |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
explaining much too patiently how children tend to scratch an itch-- while dirt beneath the nail remained and planted little worms in skin-- little Eve to Adam Sin implanted in our blood-- It took me 15 years to touch myself, with any luck... "Persistantly" applies the Saint. ====================================== Their mom was always dressed like gold but this day she shined insane I watched her kiss them all goodbye-- as Dillon split the fields of cane... She gave Iambe her gold ring-- She actually held handkerchief. She touched it to her eye and I thought, well, "what the hell is this?" She was wearing stockings on a hot west Texas day-- m'god she was a funeral fried baking in the dry red clay... ================================== OMG...only you could have wrote this like this You rock me twin...and it rolls me   |
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