Open Poetry #22 |
Do I love You? (Serenity's pitch a fit challenge) |
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
You sculpted my heart to explode. You fashioned my limbs out of lengthy bone. Do I love You? You left my endurance unsure. You pounded me, ocean, from shore to shore. Do I love You? I left water on sill, so You (I was child) could deny vinegar. (the sponges still speak; they still signify) I left foment a box in Your care. (fury was there) Do I love You? I still share. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
ah.. fit with biblical references as well as a personal feel. Mikey..you pitch a fit well!! Good stuff my friend... like the image of water and vinegar... fits the mood well I think |
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Anvrill Senior Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 710in the interzone now |
Pitch a fit, indeed. I love you, baby. And you weren't the only one god designed to die young. :P I've got cancer and heart problems on both sides of my family. No one's died of natural causes yet. Um, eep? Let's hope we both beat out genetics, k? Lovely. Gotta go. your tongue's like poison |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Written by a sword in protest of its tempering? (wickedly grinning) Thank you Mikey--the very definition of the undefinable...that silent longing and noisy celebration in silence of the soul. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Ron, This whole poem is personal. So let's review it. The first stanza is about being born with Marfan's Syndrome. The second stanza is about moving from place to place to place. The third, the one that jumped out at ya, has a story to it. Every Easter, my mom would play Jesus Christ Superstar while I was growing up. The first listening of this album (on vinyl, no less) was so traumatic to me, I wanted to help Jesus, so I left a Tupperware cup of water on the sill all night. It was still there in the morning, undrunk. And then, well, the poem goes on from there. Lori, *kiss* We'll live as long as we're supposed to. At least we've got each other. Oh, and one more thing that inspired this poem. I saw Train de Vie recently, a French movie that also inspired, in part, Impressionen Unter Wasser. Anyway, one of the characters questions if we love God beyond selfish reasons -- saying that no asks how His day was or anything, just me me me me me. I see a lot of truth in that. So this poem tried to ask that question, independent of the stanzas. Enough of my jabber. Thanks for readin', both of ya. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Great stuff here Mikey!! Challenge well met I would say! ~Hugs~ ~ Time has cast a spell on you |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Sen, Even your response is a better poem than I have crafted here. Thanks for your friendship, and your mind. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you, Nancy. This could have gone into Spiritual, I guess. Oh well. Glad you enjoyed! |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
This is a great write....enjoyed...lotta thought went into this bud... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Cool explanation..all the pieces fit when you explain it. |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you, Toe. And thanks again, Ron. |
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