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Open Poetry #22
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2002-10-02 04:14 PM


I  can be heard in the sound
Of each raindrop falling
At the moment just before impact
Deformed from the pressures
Of speeding slide on air
Till the small screams
Are muffled
In my ears
Perhaps yours

Am I deaf
Or mute

Ten thousand
Times ten they are dropping
And I stand straining
Waiting once again
For the music to strike
Chords tied to my heart

There is no grey in the clouds
That is not also white above
This vantage point so close
Too close
To wail

No gentle drift it seems
But driven madness

Still I can be heard
As my mute words
Soak in


[This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (10-02-2002 05:56 PM).]

© Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

1 posted 2002-10-02 04:15 PM


I love the urgency
and sad majesty
of these words of hurt.

jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

2 posted 2002-10-02 04:20 PM


Still I can be heard
As my mute words
Soak in

wow...bsquirrel said it perfectly majectically hurt...its like you took the majesty and power of a rainstorm and attached it to your words

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
3 posted 2002-10-02 05:35 PM


And this, it seems, could stand alone

"There is no grey in the clouds
That is not also white above
This vantage point so close
Too close
To wail"


~Ed

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2002-10-02 05:37 PM



Each time I read this, a different thought
comes to mind, so I will leave that
as a comment...

and that fact that each thought
seems driven...

caterina
Member
since 2002-07-25
Posts 188
Canada
5 posted 2002-10-02 05:55 PM



Beautiful!  I love all of it but the first stanza is my favorite

Till the small screams
are muffled
in my ears

Again, such beautiful work.  I am wondering if it should be 'times ten?'--  you have 'time ten.'

Lovely,

caterina


Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
6 posted 2002-10-02 06:23 PM


Oh the words, Captain, the words...

wonderful, as always...
~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
7 posted 2002-10-02 06:42 PM


I seem to be reading a lot of rain images today.  But this one is far from serene. Well done.

Nan(Pilgrim variety)

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
8 posted 2002-10-02 06:44 PM


silent are the feel of words
barely touching the me within
yet whetting the appetite for you...
Perhaps the moisture seeps in
leaving a damp memory
of a time once held
in the embrace of stillness
gently muting my existence

M

always I am inspired, always I enjoy your words...
~smiling
M



Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
9 posted 2002-10-02 11:59 PM


"No gentle drift it seems
But driven madness

Still I can be heard
As my mute words
Soak in"




(sigh) Wow!!! Oh my gosh, I just love how you imply pieces of everything in your poems, sweet friend, it is as if each poem is each raindrop in your heart showing another part of you! I love it, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

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