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Dillon's Clouds
| Open Poetry #22 |
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Dillon's Clouds |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Dillon walked with a sway perhaps it was the boots, but I always liked watching her move We had been out driving her car top down when she pulled over in the shadow of a butte climbed out and began walking I don't know where she was heading but she seemed to have purpose I lacked so I watched her walk head up hips in rythm About an hour or so later I saw her coming back and reached into the cooler fished out a cold one and walked out to meet her She didn't say anything much just something about the clouds not wanting to play today Later when the sun had found its way behind the maze of red rimmed buttes and the stars began to sprinkle themselves like salt on a black tablecloth She leaned on me and I wished I could be the clouds in her heart |
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| © Copyright 2002 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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INclan Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024Indiana, USA |
Nicely written. I enjoyed the flow of time through this poem. How do you know that you aren't the clouds in her heart? Surely, you cross her mind from time to time..... |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Nicely done, Ron, I'm sure Martie will enjoy this! *smiles* ~Tier  "I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..." |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
As well done here, as in the response itself. Iambe lives... so does her family... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Phew, some precise, heartfelt writing here, Cpat. Glad Martie whipped ya into a new frenzy. Okay ... it's not exactly a frenzy, but I'll take what I can get. And I like what I do get. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron You know her pretty well, considering you just met. Very good!!  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent write....very well done! ~Hugs~ ~ Time has cast a spell on you |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (sigh) Awwwwwww, this is soooooo beautiful, sweet friend, just seeing the cloud images in my head too had my heart ascending reading this, this is breathtaking, we all love you so much! You have such a ebautiful heart, sweet Ron, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Damn! Between you and Martie, a star, is born. She's as compelling as her sis. ~Ed |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
very touching, last line especially *s M |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
and the stars began to sprinkle themselves like salt on a black tablecloth She leaned on me and I wished I could be the clouds in her heart I read your challenge and wished I had the time and patience to meet it. Actually played with a few lines in my head. Anyway, you did it again. Not sure what exactly...lol. These women you write...damn. And the name is perfect. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Later when the sun had found its way behind the maze of red rimmed buttes and the stars began to sprinkle themselves like salt on a black tablecloth ===================================== what you do with imagery and brevity never ceases to impress. I posted my endeavor on your challenge thread...couldnt resist Iambe. |
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Radrook Senior Member
since 2002-08-09
Posts 648 |
Nice write. BTW There is a woman involved here with swaying hips. So are you using "Butte" as a pun? Or am I reading more into this than I should? |
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