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wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2002-09-30 09:30 PM

Somber beasts,
The color of dolor

Bier bearing
Mahogany coffer

Ebony hearse,
Drawn down the cobble

Wooden spokes,
Moan
Mournful
Soughing song

“Donnez moi Jolie?”

Over wrought raillery
‘Neath wrought railings

Echoes hollow, in alley
Heralds sorrow, to follow

“Mon cher, mon fille!”

Silent, sliding steps

Violin in purl,
Preceding

Dancing dirge
Proceeding

“Pour quoi? Pour quoi?”

Clopping hooves
Mark sepulchral time

Down the Rue de la Rue

~wranx

In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward".

~wranx~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2002-09-30 09:41 PM

What a tone and setting you created here--

and every word strings into next...

"“Pour quoi? Pour quoi?”"

I confess, I was hoping NOT.

But yes, I like the different dimension, with language that speaks of emotional timelessness.

Ooooh...yer someplace nice, Ed.

I could almost smell vampere...

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

2 posted 2002-09-30 09:49 PM

Thanks witch,
I've been listening to that "Zydeco" music, and love the waltzes.

*sniffs the air*

~Ed

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

3 posted 2002-10-01 11:46 AM

yeah..you set the mood and tone in this one well... nice work Ed. I enjoyed the journey even if somber

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

4 posted 2002-10-01 12:26 PM

Je ne sais pas pour quoi. I do not know why.

But I do know a fine piece of writing when I see one---and this most assuredly fits into that category. Talk about creating a mood!!!---albeit it somber, it was, non-the-less, spell-binding!

EA

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-10-01 01:38 PM

For some reason, I fused the sadness of this
with the ambiguity of Theodore Roethke's
My Papa's Waltz.

Methinks I need to go to bed earlier.

I enjoyed this poem -- in fact, I'm going back for a second read.

Thanks, Ed.

Tiersdin
Member Elite

since 2000-11-17

Posts 2364
east coast

6 posted 2002-10-01 01:53 PM

You do have a way with words, Ed. They seem to float down a page, no matter what the subject might be...

enjoyed!
~Tier

"I shall never bond again, as I have bonded with you..."

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

7 posted 2002-10-01 02:01 PM

Wranx, sounds like an irish wake. lol
Enjoyed this refreshing read.

Don't drag the orchestra into this thing
Rattle those sticks, rattle those sticks
The sound is beautiful, its perfect!
The birthday party

brian sites
Senior Member

since 2002-06-25

Posts 1475
usa

8 posted 2002-10-01 10:01 PM

parish scene set with
wailing
a 3/4 times
the creaking of wood

your N.O. poetry always
seems
more vivid-eyed
than yothers
to this reader
anyways
awesome writing, Ed

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

9 posted 2002-10-01 10:06 PM

Excellent write...I much enjoy our style..and presentation.
~Hugs~

~ Time has cast a spell on you
So you won't ever forget me ~

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