Tired Dribbling = Mikey's Challenge

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Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

0 posted 2002-09-27 11:30 PM

three a.m.
smoke curling around the monitor
when did I take up smoking?
gold comfort lies quietly
in the bottom
of an old Wendy’s glass
when did I start drinking?
I hear voices in the bedroom
and realize I’d left
the radio on
for the noise
for the comfort
when did I become afraid?
I seek revenge in the one thing
I’ve always called my own
writing
but someone snuck in
and stole all the words
from my computer
my keyboard doesn’t work
I pick up a pen
and scribble on the
back of an unpaid water bill
when did I get so forgetful?
after an hour
I read what I’ve written
nothing more than
tired dribbling from a cracked pen
when did I lose my muse?
and when will it come back?

Irie
Senior Member

since 1999-12-01

Posts 1493
Washington State

1 posted 2002-09-27 11:37 PM

Well Sharon,

I think it just did!

What visions I got reading this,
the smoke, the drink, radio playing, ....
I could see it all perfectly.

This is wonderful, and I enjoyed reading it, twice!

In my library it goes

~Sheri

"Don't wait for your ship to come in ...
Swim out to it"

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

2 posted 2002-09-27 11:38 PM

(sigh) Oh Sharon, you describe the heart of a poet stilled without a muse shining so well and deeply, I love it, and may the faucets of inspiration turn on again and the keyboards burst in an electrical storm of fervor, I LOVE IT!!! (big hugggsssss) This is excellent, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sharon, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

3 posted 2002-09-28 07:48 AM

I seek revenge in the one thing
I’ve always called my own
writing

I find myself doing that, every three to four weeks. Wonderful write, SHaron.

Too early for the rainbow, too early for the dove These are the final days, this is the darkness, this is the flood
L cohen

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

4 posted 2002-09-28 08:01 AM

Sharon, Sharon, Sharon!

Can I ask a big favor of you? Let me take this and munch it up a bit... you've got a really good poem in here, I think. Please?

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

5 posted 2002-09-28 10:15 AM

What a wonderful product to have come from the challenge, this is fantastically woven!

Your muse is certainly intact and showing in this one, but it worked excellently to use its 'loss' in meeting this challenge.

Superb!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

6 posted 2002-09-28 10:26 AM

Challenge well met. Lovely read, PDV.
And for me? Makers'Mark in a Flintstones' glass. (Betty, Mmm Mmm)

~Ed

In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward".

~wranx~

Miah
Senior Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 1062
Pennsylvania

7 posted 2002-09-28 12:08 PM

loved this one. very cool.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

8 posted 2002-09-28 12:40 PM

I wrote one like this once
where the poor dude doesn't realize
his girl has left him.

You haven't lost your muse, Sharon.
You just need to find material
worthy of her insight, wit and intelligence.

Thank you so much for taking my challenge,
and for crafting such a wonderful poem.

SmartChick
Member Rara Avis

since 2001-09-23

Posts 7081
On A Journey To The Unknown

9 posted 2002-09-28 12:47 PM

I don't know when you lost your muse! But, I hope it comes back soon.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

10 posted 2002-09-28 01:07 PM

Thank you all for you kind comments and your support (Chris email me your suggestions!).

The muse is healing..she needs some Ibuprofen right now though.

Krishankins

Senior Member

since 2002-06-23

Posts 972
Texas

11 posted 2002-09-28 03:47 PM

Nice job with the challenge, Sharon!

Hey dog, did you see the size of that chicken!?

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

12 posted 2002-09-28 04:12 PM

When did you take up smoking?

When did you start drinking?

(Perhaps this is why I've felt so soul-less this past week--I've been haunting YOU!)

Knowing you as I do--I can say that this is apparent of your ability to inhabit a character--this is where your incredible ability to emphasize with others comes in--as well a beautiful trait of character, it's quite a tool for a writer when it comes to fleshing out characters and points of view.

You are back---well you were never actually "gone"--sometimes we just get quiet before we find ourselves making a leap.

You succeed where I have failed...sigh...

love this/love you

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

13 posted 2002-09-28 04:43 PM

You're right Karen. I was partly imagining I was you...and partly someone else..

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

14 posted 2002-09-28 06:02 PM

You know..If I had read this first, I wouldn't have had the confidence to post mine. I was trying for something more simple with this same challenge, but all my thoughts are longwinded lately.

I think you did a wonderful job with this, Sharon.

*Jenn*

"two hearts will build the foundation for one point of light
a duet done with passion"

excerpt from "I Love You"

paladin

Senior Member

since 2001-08-05

Posts 930
Pensacola,Fl.

15 posted 2002-09-28 11:40 PM

And like when did my apartment become a cold water walk up with bongos pounding through paper thin walls.Too much man!

paladin

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

16 posted 2002-09-29 01:01 AM

Poet deVine - your muse is there, I don't believe its ever left, not with the way you write...

BC

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

17 posted 2002-09-29 01:58 AM

very cool....I loved this

Moonlight Romeo

Senior Member

since 2001-09-10

Posts 982
The heart of you

18 posted 2002-10-01 09:09 AM

It would seem that finding the muse is easier than one would think.

Thank you.

What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

19 posted 2002-10-01 11:00 AM

Your muse did a good job, creating this
through your hands...
placing yourself, as you admit, into another
person...very good!

I'd take another serving of something like this, please!

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

20 posted 2002-10-01 11:30 AM

very nicely met! Your muse indeed seems to have found you here... hope she continues to grace you and us with your words.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

21 posted 2002-10-04 03:17 PM

I loved the way you described your feelings. I don't think that ability has left you. Love, Ethel

caterina
Member

since 2002-07-25

Posts 188
Canada

22 posted 2002-10-04 04:23 PM

I loved this, with the smoking, drinking, unpaid bills? Your muse did quite well here, I would say.

This was great!

caterina

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