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| Open Poetry #22 |
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nichola_louise Junior Member
since 2002-08-17
Posts 24Adelaide, Australia |
The jagged edge presses deep, Faith biting into skin, Releasing all emotions And freeing the demons within. Succumbing to the peacefulness As the pain ebbs away. The note you left says nothing But you've nothing left to say. In the hollow of your soul Is a rightness for your course, A tower built so solid It withstands all reason's force. All over now as sleep takes hold, A night, tonight, an end. Beliefs and fears and failings No longer to defend. |
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| © Copyright 2002 Nichola Louise - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) Oh Nichola, this is so powerfully bittersweet, sometimes it is indeed alright to feel empty, but in other ways it can hurt, as in it is good to be empty of fear but never empty of hope! (sigh) Always believe in your heart and in your dreams and you will go far, sweet friend, this is powerfully heartfelt, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Nichola, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Very sad. I felt the person in this poem had given up hope, and thereby given up on life iteslf. Hopefully this soul will find something/someone to connect with, and hold onto long enough to find the sunshine and rainbow that wait for them along the path of life. For the rainbow and sunshine are there, and worth the wait. |
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nichola_louise Junior Member
since 2002-08-17
Posts 24Adelaide, Australia |
Please give your comments abou this poem........if you dont tell me what you think then i wont be able to write better |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I don't critique well, but I will say that this is sad...and I can relate to what you've written. As far as commenting on the work itself to help you write better, I'm sorry, I can't do that. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
sometimes I see too deep...so you tell me? I saw this as religious metaphor and quite painstakingly drawn out too... and with a title such as "empty" I can also only infer a loss of faith--this is sad, but I am fascinated with the allusions. Write me? we'll talk? smiling... |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
If this is what I think it's about, all I can do is hang my head and hope for the best for you -- not a loss of faith, but a loss of a friend through self-means? I'm not sure if I'm reading into that right, but if so, the pain's gonna be immense, and I hope Passions will be a good place for you to work that pain out. Much love and hope for you, Mike |
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