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Open Poetry #22
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Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

0 posted 2002-09-27 01:57 AM





I sit here with my feelings
As my heart lays on the floor
The finality of our love was felt
The moment you closed the door

My feelings had become superfluous
Your love had left without trace
Did you feel any remorse
As the tears rolled down my face?

You left me brokenhearted
Pushing my feelings to one side
Your heart now loved another
There was no room for me inside

I search the eyes of a stranger
This man who I adored
You once loved me without question
As together our hearts soared

Dark shadows now surround me
In my heart there lays a hole
You took my reason for living
And you crushed my very soul

Your masquerade is now over
You've made your final curtain call
But I will not remain defeated
Once again I will walk tall

* * *

I should say that this is pure fiction
and was in no way written from any
personal experience.

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

© Copyright 2002 Sue Tancheff - All Rights Reserved
Kielo
Senior Member
since 2002-02-11
Posts 1109

1 posted 2002-09-27 02:01 AM


Well done! I enjoy fiction poetry. Its a little like improv compared to acting. *shrug* Sometimes, anyway. Sometimes improv turns out differently. *shakes head* Sorry, I'm rambling again. At any rate, I liked it!

Kielo

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise
2 posted 2002-09-27 08:14 AM


Hey Sue, I enjoyed this. A bit different from what you normally write and thankfully it's purely fictional.

Hugs, Marti

Every now and then take a good look at something not made
with hands -- a mountain, a star, the power of the ocean.
There will come to you wisdom,

Mistletoe Angel
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Empyrean
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon
3 posted 2002-09-27 08:19 AM




(big hugggsssssss) Oh Sue, I'm so glad this is fiction because these thoughts truly are sad and I wish the beauty of true love to always be with you and to be faithful! (kiss on cheek) This is powerful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Sue, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
4 posted 2002-09-27 11:24 AM


you write with a sensitivity for feelings though you have no personal experience - wow how well you do it Sue - loved this - Paul
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
5 posted 2002-09-28 09:17 AM


Yes SueT.....done well...love the flow of
the piece and you certainly tell the feel
well.....

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
6 posted 2002-09-28 01:17 PM


Suetang - pure fiction or not, it is well told with a lot of feeling...

BC

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2002-10-03 11:56 AM


SueTang~
Oh my ... this is simply compelling~
You've woven a tale of hearts that is felt
by someone ... somewhere~
WONDERFUL !

And ... I love your 'blue pots'~
I would perhaps like to 'snitch it' for a future write ... if that's okay with you~
Needing to know if it's your photo or someone else's so I can give proper credit if I use it~
Thankee, gal~
*HUGS*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
           noles1@totcon.com                       

Suetang
Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia
8 posted 2002-10-03 06:56 PM


Thank you all for your comments.  I really like to put myself in the shoes of others to try and see what it's like and I find it a challenge to do so.

Marge - You are more than welcome to use the picture of the blue pots which I took myself.  Photography is another of my passions that I seem to have so little time for.  You can use any of my pictures, I'd be honoured.

Take care......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

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