»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #22
»
And You Laugh
| Open Poetry #22 |
|
And You Laugh |
|
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... 
|
One more shovel full... and you still don't understand For a moment... you give reprieve And I... begin my struggle to dig free Sometimes I even see the light But then... as quickly as it came returns the darkness Reality hits as a muddy slap across a tear-stained cheek And I... once again buried... this time deeper One more shovel full and you laugh as you plant flowers just above my head... My tears supply the moisture by which they grow Occasionally you offer a single blossom yet hold it tauntingly out of my grasp I reach... stretch... and reach again.... and still I just can't seem to reach you... ~vlraynes "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truly met the poet. ~vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (09-17-2002 05:32 PM).] |
||
| © Copyright 2002 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Vicky this is extremely well crafted and you allow the reader to feel what you are conveying. Very well done!  If I have touched one heart through my words, then I have acheived my dream... |
||
|
Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
This is heartwrenching. Well done, but my tendency is to reply to such poetry: "Kick him in the rear, and walk out!" But, you know, that's just me. Nan(Pilgrim variety) |
||
|
the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Awesome write Cold hands means a warm heart |
||
Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Enjoyed this poem, though it made my heart ache. Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
||
|
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Okay, little buddy~ That's it .... let me at him !!! Ain't NOBODY gonna bury MY BUDDY !! Gadzooks, girlfriend .... this is soooooo raw with emotion ... absolutely beautifully and effectively done~ Look at you ... free-versing even better than ever~  Me wub you ... and wub this write~ *HUGS* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
||
|
Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
This is so well written, Vicky... I love the starkness of the emotion and the cleverness of the metaphor... Great job!  ~ hugs and grinsLyra |
||
|
jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Wow...very well done, my friend...and like Marge...lemmeathim! Really enjoyed. jwesley |
||
|
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
vlraynes - strong emotions you write about and they are written about well. This followed your thoughts all the way to the end and conveyed them well... BC |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
...and they wonder where the underground wells come from. Excellent, Vicky...excellent. |
||
|
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Thank you all for your kind and supportive words. It means more to me than you know. I truly appreciate you all taking the time to read this little piece of my heart. Love and hugs to all, ~Vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, |
||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssss) Oh Vicky, this is so very sad, sweet friend, I hope now you have reached all your truest dreams and hopes and true happiness now fills your heart! (sigh) This is beautifully heartfelt, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Vicky, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"And You Laugh"---Excellent title for this poem; however, the ridicule and taunting that you have suffered (if this is you that you're referring to)is, as you well know, no laughing matter. You crafted this piece very well---indeed, incredibly well! May the sun and the moon and the stars always shine down on you. Earth Angel |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Vicky An incredibly feeling poem. You used this metaphor to perfection. Heart hugs to you and a shovel if you need one. |
||
|
Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Vicky, you're imagery is both powerful and original in this well thought out piece. Wonderful! |
||
|
cpalmer Senior Member
since 2001-06-26
Posts 977Phoenix, Az |
Girl! You have not lost your touch! This is so powerful and moving! You have such a way of writing, that makes me envious! Love ya Cindi |
||
|
The Lonely Stranger Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 361Upstate, NY, USA |
This is indeed a tear jerker .... why do we want most, those who would bury us ?? ... and they sent him home happy ... one hundred percent. |
||
|
dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
..this is no "little piece" of your heart my friend...this is big... very gripping.. i wish you were here...  hugs whole bunches.....lv,g "There ain't no doubt i love this Land....God Bless The USA!" L.Greenwood [This message has been edited by dgvarner (09-18-2002 07:32 PM).] |
||
|
Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Vicky, this is powerful and your use of imagery and theme is well-crafted. I feel your words because I see myself in them...it's a keeper~ Take care, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... |
||
|
Skyfire
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3381Riding |
*attacks you with hugs* I have a lizard, and his name is Jake. |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
"A Rose by any other name..." |
||
|
TradingSpaces19 Member
since 2002-08-31
Posts 134Arvada, Colorado |
This is well written, and it makes me cry because it is so sad  but I enjoyed this poem. I hope to read more from you soon. Keep up the good work. If you ever want to or need to talk email me at TradingSpaces19@hotmail.comLove, Andrea Kruckenberg  |
||
|
amusemi Senior Member
since 2001-12-08
Posts 1262A State of Disarray |
I am with The Lonely Stranger. This touches deeply. |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
