Open Poetry #22 |
Extemporaneous Meter |
VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Extemporaneous Meter An apple and a pomegranate were sitting down to tea said the apple to the pomegranate will you listen to me Why, certainly, friend, I shall listen, to my core, to all you have to say and even to more. Do you have a little problem do you need rounded shoulder; please don’t whisper, pomegranate, but be a little bolder. “Well, you see I’ve had a goal to be a sweet, sweet piece of fruit one that’s luscious and gorgeous while succulent to boot” I suppose one could wonder if their dreams be realized before the setting of the sun or this aging planet dies. ©August 17, 2002 Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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© Copyright 2002 Virginia Salter - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
sweet, and juicy - almost like gossip. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
thanks, Kethry, but it's not finished is it, it's like the writer fell of the boat in the middle of the river Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I think you are still clinging to the boat and just getting really close to the ending. Personally, I think it stops in a place that is quite acceptable.....Could it go a little further? Yes.... But it is OK right where it is....and I do like the title....Is that a real word? Extempowhat? |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
VAS, Cute and sweet, enjoyed. |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
I know what you mean..I have had the feeling that some of my poems could go on too, I like to move between moods of being direct sometimes and subtle the next..nice poem |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Extemporaneous---yes, Magnus, it's a real word even my spell check knew it. It means something like "off the cuff" which I thought worked to describe this piece and yes, even the meter of it. However, though I'm quite a good speller, it's a word that gives me a headache trying to get it on the page so I copied and pasted it this time. Thank you all for reading and for your encouraging, extemporaneous words. Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
VAS - this is sweet, I like it very much... Mine is just a poem.... BC |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Wow, this is a powerful provoking write, sweet friend, I believe everything on Earth has a purpose, which of course sometimes can be infamous, but, like the apple, which some say one a day can keep the doctor away, and the pomegranate, which is closely tied in with the story of Shekinah and creation, everything has a special need. (kiss on cheek) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Virginia, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
I love it!! Just the way it is Virginia! ~Hugs~ ~ Time has cast a spell on you So you won't ever forget me ~ [This message has been edited by Enchantress (08-18-2002 05:09 PM).] |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Bowing most humbly to the spellchecker extemporaneous..... |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
This is a peach of a poem, Virginia... I've often wondered if fruits and veggies could think... and now you've solved that dilemma for me... of course they can... ~ peachy hugs Lyra |
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