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Open Poetry #22

Fear

Romy
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida

0 posted 2002-09-17 07:04 AM

Fear
Colored blue like the bruise under mama’s left eye
It happens “when there’s no damned work to be found”
It sounds like heavy footsteps near my bedroom door
and it smells like whiskey.
Fear

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

1 posted 2002-09-17 08:08 AM

This is excellent work...the first of yours I've seen. Well done!

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

2 posted 2002-09-17 08:15 AM

Wow! That is potent writing! Stirred all kinds of emotions in me! Hope the premise isn't based on your reality!

Take Care
Earth Angel

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

3 posted 2002-09-17 08:23 AM

All to often those sounds are heard
that smell is smelled....
very powerful writing. I haven't read
your work before, but am looking forward to more. *s*

If I have touched one heart through my words, then I have acheived my dream...

Opeth
Senior Member

since 2001-12-13

Posts 1543
The Ravines

4 posted 2002-09-17 08:44 AM

I think you captured the essence of fear, and in this case fear from a father who abuses his family, rather well.

Romy
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1170
Plantation, Florida

5 posted 2002-09-17 09:17 AM

Thanks to all of you for your comments. They're much appreciated.

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