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Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

0 posted 2002-09-17 12:18 PM

Welcome to the Rain
©2002 C.G. Ward

distant hills grieve the mist topping their lungs
like a parasite clutching crayola giggles,
and ignoring the down-turned veins of the sun
as an atheist turns from God.

in these shoes,
marched a mile past their passes
just to pave the way for a band of ants
who followed in reddened tracks...
but only to mock my delivery
when I stumbled at the peak.

we are clay in this silence,
and dust is a chapel
where i bend a knee to the altar of your memory,
hoping to resurrect a numbness i've forgotten,
but can't remember to ignore.

a thousand times ten then once again:
camped amidst the sorrow of heights last night
and imagined you real;
an avatar of patience watching over my sighs
until i felt at my wrist for a pulse,
but could no longer hear the tune of your beat.

[This message has been edited by Christopher (09-19-2002 02:46 AM).]

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

1 posted 2002-09-17 01:01 AM

You're deep!!! Each verse took me a little farther down, but your talent and ability to bend while laying it all out there brought me back up...thank you for sending your message, as sad as it was, it was extremely well said.

[This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (09-17-2002 01:02 AM).]

Miah
Senior Member

since 2002-08-26

Posts 1062
Pennsylvania

2 posted 2002-09-17 01:06 AM

Ohhh I like "we are clay in this silence,
and dust is a chapel"

I very much enjoyed this, it painted a picture in my mind. and a handsome photo to go with the poem.

mycafe
Senior Member

since 2002-05-23

Posts 584

3 posted 2002-09-17 04:15 AM

Wonderful writing, thought provoking...and sad even.

mycafe

Keep counting your blessings

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

4 posted 2002-09-17 08:34 AM

You are a poet! No doubt about that! This is the first poem of yours that I have had the pleasure of "experiencing" and I'll be keeping my eyes open for more!

You have a unique way with words and giving one pause to think as you grab your readers and take them with you on the journey.

~ smiles ~
Earth Angel

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

5 posted 2002-09-17 10:30 AM

very nicely done.... enjoyed the play of wod and image to support the overall message and feel... good stuff here!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

6 posted 2002-09-17 01:58 PM

we are clay in this silence,
and dust is a chapel
where i bend a knee to the altar of your memory,
hoping to resurrect a numbness i've forgotten,
but can't remember to ignore.

a thousand times ten then once again:
camped amidst the sorrow of heights last night,
and imagined you real;
an avatar of patience watching over my sighs
until i felt my wrist for a pulse,
but could no longer hear the tune of your beat.
=======================================

...

(i wish i had wrote those verses)

Parker
Member Elite

since 2000-01-06

Posts 3129
ON

7 posted 2002-09-17 01:59 PM

amazing write Mister Ward.... it trully ranks up there with your best. It seem to me to be a painful journey of emotional contridictions between the here and the wishful...
I don't know if that makes sense... lol
this is why I don't go into CA..

parker

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

8 posted 2002-09-17 02:02 PM

Im BAAACK....did ya miss me LOL
-------------

distant hills grieve the mist topping their lungs
====================
and ignoring the down-turned veins of the sun
as an atheist turns from God.
=======================

I love the imagery of those lines...they are very very cool...but...if you dont mind...I need some help with this line....

"like a parasite clutching crayola giggles,"

forgive the moth for being dense...
youre just too deep for me

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

9 posted 2002-09-17 02:45 PM

Christopher,
Crayolas broken,
churches bombed,
a bit of love
and remembrance
to forget the numbness --
to remember being loved.

Mikey

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

10 posted 2002-09-17 02:55 PM

Don't resurrect the numbness. Feel it all, it's all there. I love this poem.

Nan(Pilgrim variety)

LoveBug

Moderator

Member Elite

since 2000-01-08

Posts 4697

11 posted 2002-09-17 03:13 PM

Oh Romeo..... lol

You haven't lost anything since I read you last. (Did I expect you to? Of course not). Anyway, this really touched me... it's hard to look for something and find it isn't there... good work, my friend. This is in the library!

Most of us go to our grave with our music still inside of us.

Poet deVine

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-26

Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley

12 posted 2002-09-17 03:15 PM

This is so good Chris. Makes me smile and want to cry all at the same time.

BrightStar
Member

since 2001-04-08

Posts 219

13 posted 2002-09-17 04:58 PM

Deep is right

Admiring you poets at Passions.

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

14 posted 2002-09-17 05:59 PM

Christopher~
This is definately one of my favorites of yours.
Extremely well written, and a touching and emotional read.
I'm really glad you shared this one.
Hugs,
~Vicky

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

15 posted 2002-09-17 07:32 PM

Some stunning images, a very well crafted poem, and I can well relate to the emotions
here, the loss of love is never easy.

Too early for the rainbow, too early for the dove These are the final days, this is the darkness, this is the flood
L cohen

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

16 posted 2002-09-17 11:48 PM

we are arent we?? clay, silent....even dust....all forms of earth.....stunning this is....with much thought....I will be back to praise a little more...I need to take all this in again....

HUGSSS good to see ya posting...PS LOVE THE TITLE!!
Lauren~

I need some distraction
...oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

17 posted 2002-09-19 12:56 PM

blues - deep... i've think i've heard that before (no plus). glad we brought you back, would be a shame to lose ya.

thank you for your time and comments.

miah -

awww, shucks ma'am. thank you, i was really happy (and surprised) by that line myself.

mycafe - thank you. sad is ok, it's feeling that matters, right?

EA - unique is good as well. thank you for your thoughful comments. they brought me a smile!

Cpat - i love to play on words, and as i've mentioned before, it is a very rare piece done by me that means just one thing.

JM (x2) - you did write them (i just wrote them first, lol). first, thank you for your ever-appreciated visit.

second: "like a parasite clutching crayola giggles" i had a lot of fun developing this line (should have seen what it first looked like!!!) first, we need to look at the mist topping the "lungs" of the distant hills - could simply be the physicality of this, or, more to the point, this represents distant dreams or goals and the haze shrouding them (grieving because they can no longer be seen clearly). in line with that, we're seeing that this "haze" is like a parasite (something feeding off these dreams / goals but giving nothing in return). clutching crayola giggles is giving a character to this "parasite" - one that indicates a childish or immature attitude. the giggles shows that this parasite (which is indicated later to be her memory, which is now "dead") is perhaps, like a child, unaware of the consequences of what its presence means... it simply sees the effects, and not the affects. this is bolstered and modified by the following lines, showing this "parasite" ignoring the beams of light that could penetrate the haze (thereby, we assume, allowing the "dream" to be seen again), not out of malice, but out ofignorance and/or unwillingness to recognize the consequences of its presence (as an athiest turns from god).

Uhm - hope i made some sense there, and cleared it up a bit. hugs mothy-you, write my lines anytime.

Parker - contradictions are my bag *smile* appreciate the reading and interpretation... never hesitate to hit CA... the more points of view we get, the better!

mike - smiling softly here.

Pilgrimage - ah, numbness has much to say in its favor, though i think you're right, it's far less than the ability to feel. thank you.

Juliet - just a few hairs (haircut, no i am not going bald)

thanks lady, glad to touch you! *grin*

Sharon - then i've done my job again... uh, unless you wanted to cry 'cause it was so bad! hugs lovey.

vicky - emotional, and well-written. being blessed today, thank you.

Brian - no it is not m'friend, but we can certainly learn a lot from it (not to mention the benefit we gain for misery-poetry, lol) thanks to you.

Lauren - hey cutie! we are! come back or not *smile* i appreciate as always your presence and your praise. hugs and stuff.

C

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

18 posted 2002-09-19 01:07 AM

we are clay in this silence,
and dust is a chapel
where i bend a knee to the altar of your memory,
hoping to resurrect a numbness i've forgotten,
but can't remember to ignore.

You never dissapoint me, C. The things you do with words amaze me. I gotta hit your playground soon, maybe after the move.

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