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Open Poetry #22
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Nothing to Lose
| Open Poetry #22 |
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Nothing to Lose |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines 
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Nothing To Lose As I learn to free myself of those ties, I bind myself unto another, inner voice chastising me for locking my heart with that of yours. I secret you in defeat, receptive to my fears, frightened by one word: "aloneness". I don't have to think to know. I don't have to feel to be. I exercise free of will, my understanding of you. Hindsight cannot see the solid walls we have built. Mine, out of fear, yours, out of strength. I find in you, that which is missing in me. I search every inch of you, seeking not to fail. For one failure was one too many. I step boldly towards that life of freedom, learning to reach that level of inner peace. And although I have yet to enjoy "aloneness", I know that I will win out in the end. My aim is to be happy, not just appear so. M "Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less." (Will Moss) [This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (09-15-2002 03:34 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
M, I love this one! The ending is so fantastic! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Maureen, So make it so. A wonderful write, enjoyed. |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
Maureen, So it is important to be happy..forget the appearances  |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
"My aim is to be happy, not just appear so." damnnnnnnnnn you said it great great line !!!! |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
yuh yuh well said |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
nakdthoughts - nothing to lose, if their is something to gain. Peace be with you in your endevors... BC |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
ps I am so glad you read me..I think we have much in common..*s thanks M Sy, Martin...I am working towards my freedom, not an easy task in my situation and despite setbacks...it is coming along. Thank you both M Helen, thank you..it's a long time coming (well longer than most would accept), but my plans are coming along fine...I am trying to do this the easiest way for the both of us. Thank You *s M walt...glad you stopped by...*s M BC...well I am just working my way towards freedom, Bill..sometimes it takes a bit longer than expected. Hope you are enjoying your new home. hugss M |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"I don't have to think to know I don't have to feel to be" ---wisdom permeates this whole poem. --and if you aim to be happy--that is what you will be! Take Care Earth Angel |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
I've long been of the belief that for one to be happy, one has to live for oneself first... to make life right for oneself and to be happy/satisfied with oneself whether that self be the embodiement of whats accept as a "beautiful person" or as one who just" blends in" and is never seen in the masses. If one first accepts oneself, and is satisfied with oneself no matter what one's pros or cons, then the climb to true happiness has taken the first step. When one's soul is right with oneself, all else follows... love, friends, and more, because their is an auroa that surrounds one who is oneself without pretentions - not that all may want or need you - but the ones count, and do... come, and add to the wholeness. I think you've climbed the first step, my friend, and proud I am to have you standing beside me.. jwesley. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
EA...thank you for responding so kindly again. I have times of happiness and others of regrets...not so much my own as to regretting what has happened to me to have left me where I am. Don't know if you can understand that *s M |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
I wish you all the happiness life has to give. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
jw, such a long response deserves a proper answer by me. I know so many people and self help books and shows, all say to be happy you must first be happy within yourself, not everyone can live for themself, when you have gone from your teenage years into marriage and have never been on your own. Today is quite different, at least for the most part. People live together, they get married later, they have children as single parents, or as unmarried couples. Our (my) generation of women did not live for themselves and although this was during the womans movement it did not apply to the majority...at least not in my world. So I lived to make myself AND my husband happy, sharing and doing things together. So much togetherness that when the drinking became prevalent, his friends told ME to get a life...don't wait on him to do things with me anymore. He wanted the bar scene, I wanted to live outside of that. So in truth, I believed that when married you were a couple, may have your own hobbies and friends but that the majority of your life should be spent together. and I tried to understand him and get him help or both of us help if needed. That must be where I made my mistake. I have never been unhappy with myself, although my poems may seem to differ in translation when read by others. I show a longing...it isn't for happiness alone.It is for that which I once had and has been lost and I fear may never happen to me again. I don't think you can ever have a love that you had as teenagers, maturing into adulthood and have shared for 30 some years and not be devastated by one wanting a divorce. I may not even have that many years left in my life, but when you have known someone intimately for the majority of your life and for the most part was wonderful, of course you feel slighted...lost...longing ... to feel that closeness again to another, but in this stage of life it will be different, if it happens at all. No one is in my shoes...and I am definitely not in anyone elses. We do what we have to first to survive, and then when the time is right, an end can come and tomorrow there will be a new beginning. I have been on the edge of tomorrow for over a year now and to use an overused cliche'...I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, finally. Thank you for the chance to respond and try to make myself understood. And thank you for being a friend. hugsss M [This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (09-15-2002 06:43 PM).] |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
and Sue, thank you hon...I wish the same for you.. you snuck in there while I was writing the above hugs M |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Had responded here with a lot of me, lady... erased it. I think it's not necessary. We both understand - we've both paid the dues - my heart to you. jwesley |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
nakedthoughts~ I feel such a positive approach to a new life within your words. Just be yourself and be happy...Paul [This message has been edited by Paul Wilson (09-15-2002 10:51 PM).] |
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