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VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2002-09-15 12:24 PM

Scent of Roses

spent,
withered,
having fallen
in array of rosy hues

the roses
he gifted me
scintillate my muse

I gathered them
as memories
all clustered in a bowl

they fill the air
in filigree
and mystify my soul

your memory
is much the same
a scent of roses
in my mind

wafting
through the day’s recall
aroma sweet and fine

my thoughts
of you rain
through my mind
and kindle
words and ways
of how you blessed
the world with love
in all your living’s days

though you’re gone,
your time’s no more,
I’ll spend my future years
recalling all you were before
loving, and truly dear

©September 15, 2002

I can't believe how much I revised this immediately after pasting it here. It probably still needs lots of work, too.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

1 posted 2002-09-15 12:28 PM

Personally, I think it is fine as is..and
the message is there as it should be...

Don'tcha think?

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

2 posted 2002-09-15 12:33 PM

Maybe, Barry, thanks for the encouragement. When I go messing with stuff right after writing it, it shakes me up so...especially as much as I changed this,

how much you'll never know. Let me live with it awhile, I'll see.

Thanks, again!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

3 posted 2002-09-15 02:54 PM

Beautiful

Cold hands means a warm heart

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-01-04

Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise

4 posted 2002-09-15 06:46 PM

Beautiful words Virginia; I would not change a thing.

Hugs, Marti

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

5 posted 2002-09-15 07:02 PM

VAS

~
"wafting
through the day's recall
aroma sweet and fine"
~

--as will this poem!
EA

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

6 posted 2002-09-15 07:13 PM

I think it's lovely, VAS, and if I were to squint my eyes at anything in it, it would be the word muse.... not that that lessens the piece any at all.

jwesley

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

7 posted 2002-09-15 08:28 PM

(smiles) Oh Virginia, I too think this is perfect as it is, but in case you ever truly feel you want more suggestions you can always visit the Poetry Workshop here where new techniques are always displayed! (sigh) This is wonderful, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Virginia, thank you for sharing!

May love and light alwyas shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

8 posted 2002-09-15 09:59 PM

Thank you all, such lovely sweet sCentiments you have sent and a lovely lovely rose, too!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

mycafe
Senior Member

since 2002-05-23

Posts 584

9 posted 2002-09-16 12:31 PM

What beautiful scent you've written, VAS. Very delightful read!

mycafe

Keep counting your blessings

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius

since 2000-10-09

Posts 13989

10 posted 2002-09-19 06:42 PM

A beautiful bouquet of words for all to enjoy. Thank you VAS for a lovely write.

If I have touched one heart through my words, then I have acheived my dream...

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