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Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

0 posted 2002-09-13 01:51 PM

Blech methinks this sucks..you tell me..it needs work..

Mine eyes
Face the morning sun
Mine tears
Trapped within this hour glass
Saturating, Illuminating
The tiny grains of time
Mine fears
Reverberate
Startling each tiny speck of sand
Trapped within this hour glass
Mine dreams
Sparkle and shimmer
Through the endless void
As mine spirit flirts
With reason and rhyme
Trapped within this hour glass...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

[This message has been edited by Ceinwyn (09-13-2002 01:52 PM).]

Mistletoe Angel

Member Empyrean

since 2000-12-17

Posts 32816
Portland, Oregon

1 posted 2002-09-13 01:54 PM

(big hugggsssssss) Oh my gosh, I love this, this is powerful yet so sad, I wouldn't change any part of it as it is your own feelings and are sincere and wonderfully said though my heart goes out to you and your tears and hope you feel better now! (sigh) This is heartfelt, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kristen, thank you for sharing!

May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..."

Shakira

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

2 posted 2002-09-13 01:59 PM

Awesome

Cold hands means a warm heart

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

3 posted 2002-09-13 02:18 PM

So vivid was your writing---you brought me right into that hourglass with you.

Let's break out of it together--and get back into the sunshine!

You lay bare your feelings and did it in such a creative way.

Take Care
Earth Angel

EarthenSoul
Member

since 2002-05-30

Posts 163
WA, USA

4 posted 2002-09-13 02:49 PM

This is perfect just the way it is. Needs not a letter altered.

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

5 posted 2002-09-13 04:00 PM

Jeez, Kristen. You're as uncertain about your writing skills as I am about mine! Knock it off! It's excellent.

Mike

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

6 posted 2002-09-13 05:24 PM

Very very nice, Catwyn

Love the feeling inside this

~wranx

In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward".

~wranx~

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