Open Poetry #22 |
peach cobbler |
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I scream against the silence of the meaning that lies... wrestling wrists odd veins on head pulsing purple pounding pies pressing lovely line of edge typing some perversity a morse code of what*used*t*be* and tossing logic to the gods... *sample* flicker-tongue I burn-- I press a thumb-- I press my yearn I flute the edges that I walk pronouncing hedges that I talk of sure alone's disparity each finger's print announcing me... bubbling in surety-- I am sidewalk-- etched in chalk... I am a wedding cake-- enthroned-- a tower-- Babel-ing-- disowned. [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (09-07-2002 10:27 AM).] |
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© Copyright 2002 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
ACK! when you write like this, I'm left wondering, do I even exist? perhaps only in my mind.... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
serenity You are amazing! I think you see around corners, just so you can find yourself before you get there. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
I was so afraid that if I came in here it would be fattening...maybe of the mind. Love the section about the fluting of the edges. The weaving of rhyme in and out of the metaphors is so much fun because of the sounds. And thing this does to the brain is something. A fun read. Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"I am a wedding cake-- enthroned-- a tower-- Babel-ing disowned" Very effective metaphor. "Babel-ing"---brilliant! P.S. Your title caught my eye---"Peach Cobbler" ----I'm hungry because I haven't had anything to eat yet (just a sandwich---but that doesn't count--does it? hehe) You may not have fed me with food, but you fed me with your words! Thanx! Linda |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
alone's disparity each finger's print announcing me... bubbling in surety-- I am sidewalk-- etched in chalk... I am a wedding cake-- enthroned-- a tower-- Babel-ing-- disowned. ============================ what you are is a recipe for poetry...a lesson in rhyme. Look at you serving us metaphor verse for dessert... very clever and creative write me twin. Ditto what Martie said In the space between now and then |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Great work... Enjoyed very much!!!! DeaDiAmore |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
you are so damned powerful how does one do this? without spilling blood? incredible you b |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
It's true...sometimes I don't even know where I'm going when I write---sigh... but I thank you all so much for following--and? hmmm...tomorrow I think I may cook up the real thing... :kiss" to all...I DO love this place...yer all so lovely! |
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