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Stryder
Junior Member

since 2002-06-22

Posts 29
Silent Hill

0 posted 2002-09-05 03:57 PM

Distant was her voice,
Echoing from miles away.
Ripping through my heart,
And tearing me apart.

Why does my heart
That part of me which
Keeps me breathing--
Seize to love?

Although chance threatens,
To defile us, still, even
With its pointy thorns
Shall not cause dismay.

We are ready, assuredly
Ready to love again.
To open our weathered sail,
To spread our skin deep wings.

-Stryder

"Two wrongs don't make a right,
but three rights make a left."

Stryder
Junior Member

since 2002-06-22

Posts 29
Silent Hill

1 posted 2002-09-05 05:52 PM

The last 200 poems in the open poetry forum have gotten at least one reply, and mine hasn't gotten one. Is my poem really that bad or what? I guess I'll sit around and watch my poem drop to the bottom of the list.

-Stryder

"Two wrongs don't make a right,
but three rights make a left."

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

2 posted 2002-09-05 10:01 PM

Distant was her voice,
Echoing from miles away.
Ripping through my heart,
And tearing me apart.

I missed this as it slipped down the page. This is wonderful and I enjoyed it very much!! Forgive the lack of response.

*bump* Let's send it through again.

[This message has been edited by WhiteRose (09-05-2002 10:02 PM).]

WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

3 posted 2002-09-06 09:24 AM

Hello again Stryder

I'm bumping again.

Why does my heart
That part of me which
Keeps me breathing--
Seize to love?

Just wanted to ask if you meant to use the word "seize" or if you meant "cease" as in stop. Just curious? I enjoyed the second read through as much as the first. Keep writing and I'll keep reading.

Stryder
Junior Member

since 2002-06-22

Posts 29
Silent Hill

4 posted 2002-09-06 12:44 PM

WhiteRose-

I’m glad to see someone liked my poem. It just hurts my feelings to see some of these poems getting double digit responses, and mine not getting one.

-Stryder

"Two wrongs don't make a right,
but three rights make a left."

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

5 posted 2002-09-06 05:19 PM

Hey Stryder, I enjoyed your poem... especially the last stanza.

Maree

bump

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