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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
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| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #22 |
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A Shore In Common |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704
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a broken shell and after turning it around in cold fingers you handed it to me and forgot I hold the sharp, smooth damage sometimes a piece of love, carelessly given on the shore it’s you, the white house overlooking waves and the seaweed I itched to wear this pale shell-story tells me – you and clouds the waters of the bay moving slow island shadows and it hurt sometimes to curl myself so close to your skin looking in sea-sky eyes sharing breath, knowing I’d have to miss you again hurt in the quiet way the autumn hurts when life fades in drifts and the placid ocean mocks, the distancer –shell skin and love, I can nearly recall the feel of your face under my faith |
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| © Copyright 2002 Kamla Mahony - All Rights Reserved | |||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
You words are beautiful and sea-tossed, Severn. Mikey |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
This is a beauty, Severn. Seems I don't get to read you, all that much. Glad I caught this one. ~wranx In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward". |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
and it hurt sometimes to curl myself so close to your skin looking in sea-sky eyes sharing breath, knowing I’d have to miss you again hurt in the quiet way the autumn hurts when life fades in drifts and the placid ocean mocks, the distancer –shell skin and love, I can nearly recall the feel of your face under my faith Honestly, this is one of the most powerful poems I've read. Yet...laid open. That last verse is incredible. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Hi there Ms Butterfly.... these are my favourite lines... –shell skin and love, I can nearly recall the feel of your face under my faith absolutely beautiful m'dear  Mmy. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
"shell - comma - skin - comma - and love." Either that, or break the line after "shell," since it reads more like "shell-skin." (Which, I must say, is really cool, just not apropos in context.) To forget a shell - this is nothing, of little import. It is the reason for giving the shell which is important to remember. Careless though... I smiled at that. For what wasn't, in at least some small way, careless there on the shores above Whitianga, where time nearly stopped and we were able to pretend for a short time that it might remain forever so? Back to the shell, one I [now] remember giving (with a smile and a joke in all likelihood), but honestly don't recall in and of itself. I presume it has some flaw in it (damage), which is certainly appropriate... in more than one way. Yet there is still beauty there, and memory, loss, hope, and so much that it prompted you to write of it. It is a good shell, hold on to it. *smile* "sea-sky eyes" - oooh, that rocks! Can I use it? pleeeeeeease? (and, while I most definitely appreciate and even "awwwed" over this line - HAH! I have BLUE eyes, and yooooouuuu like them!!! neener-neener... sigh) Maree most definitely grabbed the best stanza. And ending more powerful and more appropriate (to poem and personal) I can barely imagine. A wonderful poem you, full of terse phrasing, vivid imagery, and no periods/fullstops (grumble). I would like it even were the subject unfamiliar, as I think it is one of those few pieces which speaks to the longing in everyone. It certainly did to me. Thank you MG for the pull in your direction. I only wish I had that ocean nearby, so that, perhaps, we could garner more shells for your window sill. Me  |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
and it hurt sometimes to curl myself so close to your skin looking in sea-sky eyes sharing breath, knowing I’d have to miss you again hurt in the quiet way the autumn hurts when life fades in drifts and the placid ocean mocks, the distancer ------------ I really loved this part... though the entire poem rocks... your way of putting thoughts into words and words onto paper have their captivating magic... and this one is one of the prime examples... I guess you gathered, I liked this very much... Thanks Kamla, for showcasing your work here, so hungry readers like me can devour the beauty that exists in your writing... Regards, Sudhir |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A private, most quiet glimpse into a private, most quiet sharing... you drew a picture... we who have known you for a period of time, saw the stops and starts, those who are just discovering you, see beauty... |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Yes, yes, and may those others discover the special person inside of you and find that special shore! (big hugggssssss) This is lovely, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Kamla, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Ah heck....if you don't, you should know how I feel about your writing...always a treat to read and ponder the things you share..good to read you again. If I had more time I would ask about a few things in the poem....but then again it stands so well as it is written. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
we have a beach close so I don't miss it too much, but this poem made me want to go down now |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kamla A broken shell, a vulnerable and fragile beauty, made special by place and time and one who gifted it, without even knowing the a gift is special. The message of the poem...the last line made amazing! Remembering a line that you replied to my poem...ah..like reading razor wire I think you said. Yours is like reading something private, vulnerable and hurt with love. So good to see you posting, ya know...very very good! Huggles! |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Wow! A killer finale! I love your work ... just wish more happiness for you Fool, said my Muse to me, look in thy heart and write. |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Severn, Nicely done, as always. I especially liked the pace of: "the waters of the bay moving slow..." Again, a fine poem. Bob |
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Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
I enjoyed these snapshot images very much and the way you wove them into such an inspiring painting of life and love...very nice! |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Nobody colours emotion quite as well as you Tigger. Reading you is like breathing poetry. hugs JThere is society where none intrudes, by the deep sea, and music in its roar. byron [This message has been edited by Jamie (09-06-2002 06:17 PM).] |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Sheer poetry! Simply superb! After reading your words, mine fail me! Linda |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Beautiful... Enjoyed very much. DeaDiAmore |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Kamla, you know I can't say this is anything but lovely. Sure wish I could write like you do. To the top with this one so more can enjoy. The stars will shine when I am gone, |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
hurt in the quiet way the autumn hurts when life fades in drifts and the placid ocean mocks, the distancer So quietly and understatedly beautiful, Kamla.  ~ hugs from a chipmunkLyra |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Thank you all so much...just to let you know I'll be back with personal replies in the next day or so..hugs  K |
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Moonlight Romeo
since 2001-09-10
Posts 982The heart of you |
It is wonderful to read poetry. This is why, a look into the shell, and I don't even have to shake it to hear it. Thank you. What light through yon window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
K, this was awesome, both in imagery and in its message...as always your words are both thought provoking and amazing...you leave me wondering lots of things most times after reading your work, because each time i read it, i get a different spin on it and meaning, which I'm sure is a good thing This is just beautiful! Take care Amy "if irish eyes are smiling...they are probably up to something" :) |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
and it hurt sometimes to curl myself so close to your skin looking in sea-sky eyes sharing breath, knowing I’d have to miss you again hurt in the quiet way the (that?) autumn hurts when life fades in drifts and the placid ocean mocks, the distancer –shell skin and love, I can nearly recall the feel of your face under my faith Nearly recalling the feel of your face under my faith... an interesting image and phrase that leaves me pndering a couple fo ideas...and with an indisght into the depths perhaps that a part of you... I had to come back to this...and needed to read again the ending lines to make sure the words and not the moment were what captured them in my mind when I read them first.. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
THis is a most wonderful post, an amazing poem and then the captivating responses. Oh, how I love the deep honesty here. So good to see you posting, my island queen Take care Big hugs to you Liz |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
K, I wanted to reply again to say I love sharp, smooth damage -- what words. Also, this poem holds a special place in my heart because I felt the same way having to leave Lori in Calgary to come back to California. Plans are ongoing to move there, but now I have to keep pluggin' away, in hopes that a job opportunity with align itself with our need. Take care. Mike |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Oh...and I completely forgot to come back and give my personal replies...~wince~ what else can I do then but say - thank you once more? I'm glad this has provoked both thought, and feeling. Writing doesn't come easily to me lately...it's a soothing to see that what I can produce is capable of reaching... Mikey - yeah, simply - it sucks doesn't it? It really bloody sucks. K |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
thank you. . . I really miss reading you. . . I hope that you'll shake up the shell really well and listen. . . you can hear. . . I know that you can. . . take care my friend. . . --------------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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