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Open Poetry #22
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Falling
| Open Poetry #22 |
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Falling |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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I can count the bones within the falling lightning. Each piece small and round, a yet unfractured bloom. Stepping from seated cloud to dirt of the ground. To disappear then in aftervines gone soon. I can paint the edge of the sea's unheld hands. Leaves of dark in continental patterns of sand. The sky reflects lanes. The lanes reflect clouds. Would you rather, with me? Would you rather fly, or drown? In the corner of a box marked, sealed and stapled. Breathing out chalk dust and inhaling dead perfumes. I huddle closer to my eyes, to try and see their intents. I huddle so I swallow me; so I swallow the room. I become the bones falling with the lightning. Each piece small and ready to burst open and away. Stepping from seated ground, to the sky's rejection. Finding no protection as I fall upon my way. Sometimes, it's as they say. [This message has been edited by bsquirrel (09-05-2002 12:37 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2002 MPC - All Rights Reserved | |||
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
I loved it. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
I can paint the edge of the sea's unheld hands. Leaves of dark in continental patterns of sand. The sky reflects lanes. The lanes reflect clouds. Would you rather, with me? Would you rather fly, or drown? You are one talented squirrel.... Wow, this is very abastract Mr.S... but I really loved it  ~ hugs of admiration from a smaller cheeky rodentLyra |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
only you said it with more poignancy hail and damn second stanza had too much separation sand and sea get better, big guy brian |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
In the corner of a box marked, sealed and stapled. Breathing out chalk dust and inhaling dead perfumes. I huddle closer to my eyes, to try and see their intents. I huddle so I swallow me; so I swallow the room. Damn, Mike. I was impressed that this held my attention throughout. And as many images as it threw at me, i saw them...clearly. Very impressive write! |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Julie, thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed. Lyra, I'm just depressed right now. But instead of just saying "I'm depressed," I presented this text of masks, as I always do when I'm depressed. (and I need to use text of masks in a poem now .... oh, I'll make it a challenge!) Brian, yep, lots of separation in this one. It's like being flung off a merry-go-round and hitting your head against the base of a swingset -- and kinda liking it. Duncan, even clocktowers cry now and again.  Thanks, everyone, for lightening my spirits. Mike |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Yeah, squirrel dude, I can see that your barometer has fallen a bit. Doesn't affect the squirality of your write though, just the humidity. (Your write gets down right sec, when down, right?) ~poor, gentle wranx In reply to "which way do we go?", the answer was never "straight", but, "progressively forward". |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks for the smile, wranx.Hopefully, I'll pass through the eye soon. Mike |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Indeed...your use of imagery in this along with the play of word order..holds the reader. I found myself reading this several times..to plumb the depths of what is being said. Good Stuff!!!! |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
You created the mood so well, that I think I should have read this later in the day when I'm winding down! Ha! Ha! You truly are a very insightful writer. Mike---you have a very unique style of writing--I read almost every poem that you post! Hope you have a day that is filled with some sunshine! Linda [This message has been edited by Earth Angel (09-05-2002 09:17 AM).] |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yes, it is...I sware you fascinate me, how in touch you are with the world around you...and the world within |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Cpat, thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you found the poem worth reading again and again. Linda, I try to read your poems as often as possible, but you write so many! I'm glad you've found a home here. God bless.passing shadows, I'm only me. Thanks. Mikey |
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