Open Poetry #22 |
Tangled Trust |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Tangled Trust I drip onto the carpet, my tangles with hot water and for just a minute you see me naked, my eyes vulnerable and variegated as they leak my fire into your daze. I wait cemented to a red towel as you look beyond my skin and knock down all my fences. The fence, now only a token of some forbidden long lost thought that made it, stayed it and then forgot. It was haunted, anyway, by the pacing of something wild in me, looking for a tool so I could knock it down myself. How complex is the simple gift of trust. |
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© Copyright 2002 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Awwwwwwww, I love this, sweet friend, yes, trust should always be something that is transparent and can be seen right through someone anytime and no need to be tangled or ironed! (kiss on cheek) This is beautifully well-crafted, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton "Underneath your clothes there's an endless story..." |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
How complex, indeed, the simple act of trust... and how well you placed me as a fly upon the wall... wonderful wonderful wonderful... |
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Madame Chipmunk Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-05
Posts 8296Michigan |
The simple gift of trust is amazingly simple, Martie... Thanks for a beautiful word-picture of it ~ trusting hugs Lyra |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Amazing Martie! Love this. Chris Life is not measured by breaths you take, but by moments that take your breath away. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
It was haunted, anyway, by the pacing of something wild in me, looking for a tool so I could knock it down myself. How complex is the simple gift of trust. A scene beautifully penned Martie. Battle not with monsters lest ye become a monster, and if you gaze into the abyss, the abyss gazes also into you. - Friedrich W. Nietzsche |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
It was haunted, anyway, by the pacing of something wild in me, looking for a tool so I could knock it down myself. Complex it is but we either do or we don't.....only time will prove us right or wrong. I just think if we have to question it from the beginning we're dooming ourself in the end. I like what you derived from the thought of it~ |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Although I may not always find the time to reply, I do read the majority of your poems, and you always move me, but, this, is the one that speaks to me more than you could ever know. It might sound crazy or perhaps overdramatic, but, I don't know whether to smile, applaud or sigh or even cry after reading this poignant poem...really, this poem writes me, it's powerful, your phrasing is perfect and it grips with your usual grace and honesty. Martie, this is your finest. It's a keeper~ Take care, Melissa~ "Poetry is not an opinion expressed... it is a song that rises from a bleeding wound...or a smiling mouth" ~Kahlil Gibran~ [This message has been edited by Honeybee (09-04-2002 09:45 PM).] |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Wow, this is soft, mysterious and sensual in a passionately yearning way..... Break down that fence...or as sorta once said....Katie, don't bar the door.... |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Such a soft silhouette against the parchment. Such a bright light to give the form to the words. ThisDiamond |
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Alicia Member
since 2002-03-22
Posts 279 |
~Martie what a treat really to have caught you,...I love your opening line, what that brings in the start of a piece by you,...and the rest, just something special really, reading, seeing, feeling the movement. *Peace you. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Noah--your thoughtful replies are always appreciated. Karilea--No flies here..just a friend and poet. Lyra--Thank you for reading ...thinking of you. Chris--I enjoy hearing from you. Brian--So good to see your name! Blues--Sometimes fences built in the past keep trust from the present. Melissa--These words mean much to me...thank you for telling me your feelings. Barry--Yup...thats it exactly. ThisDiamond--What a lovely thing to say. Alicia--I appreciate your thoughtful reply...peace to you also, lady. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
and for just a minute you see me naked, my eyes vulnerable and variegated as they leak my fire into your daze. I wait cemented to a red towel as you look beyond my skin ============================= It was haunted, anyway, by the pacing of something wild in me, looking for a tool so I could knock it down myself. How complex is the simple gift of trust. ====================================== and it tis the complexities that make it so damned intriguing... and OHHOWILOVEWHENYOUWRITELIKETHIS.. my eyes vulnerable and variegated as they leak my fire into your daze. Yowzers baby...yowwwwwwwwwzzzeeeeers |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Bravo!! Indeed a gift of trust is not only complex, but a treasure rare.... always enjoy reading your thoughts my friend..and this is no exception. |
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RSWells Member Elite
since 2001-06-17
Posts 2533 |
Sometimes as simple as a look and as complex as fear. Enjoyed. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wow Martie! I loved this one! |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Martie - your words are indeed haunting - at the surface they are wonderful and thought provoking - at the depth my mind takes them they are ponderous and challenging. I love all of your poems and this one is special - I shall think on this for a long time I am sure - thanks for your words that touch me so deeply - Paul |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
MartieSis~ Wanting you to know that I've read this one over and over~ You always ... always ... provoke inner-probing - no exception here~ Love n' hugs~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Interloper
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369Deep in the heart |
Trust is the most guarded, least easy emotion to give, yet it can be trampled upon so easily ... almost by accident ... but not quite. What a fabulous write |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Ah... this is fantastic... Thanks, Martie... and regards, Sudhir |
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RMW Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424 |
Martie....good....and the first verse is excellent. Well done. Bob |
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Dulcinea Senior Member
since 2001-07-22
Posts 774IN |
Wow Martie, this is superb! Trust is so fragile, so hard to obtain, but the easiest to lose...loved this! |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I viewed this scene as if through a veil of mist--then I realized, the mist was coming from my eyes. Trust, once broken, can be regained through loving acts and with the passing of time. A gate will then open, and the once-broken hearted, can pass bravely through. Linda |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Well I like this...yes I do...and I like the truth in it too... again, this is an unusual style for you - is it safe to claim that your 'usual' style is evolving? The only problems I have with this are some of the line spacings... I think 'I wait' would do better on it's own line, though I see the pattern you created quite clearly, and it's nice to see you playing with lines... huggles you - thanks for pointing it my way K |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I'm with Janet Marie.... OHHOWILOVEWHENYOUWRITELIKETHIS this is absolutely DIVINE.... sweet lady. Mmy |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
It was haunted, anyway, by the pacing of something wild in me, looking for a tool so I could knock it down myself. Wonderful writing. I enjoy the very unique placement of your words and your diverse vocabulary. Very nice. |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
fascinating, for sure stark vulnerability here, and when we are still loved, even after such exposure, WOW! Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
just a note to let you know I repled to your reply to my "Do You Relate, Of Late?" |
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Muys Member
since 2002-04-06
Posts 389The Netherlands |
Thank you Martie It is so nice Muys |
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WhileIWasGone Member
since 2002-07-18
Posts 486 |
Very nice work....Martie your one of my favorite poets. You are a very special person to me and I always look forward to reading your wonderful poems. DeaDiAmore |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Great expression, Martie! Well done! |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
I agree with everyone else..hauntingly flowing most definately..as well as thought provoking..loved it.. Kristen If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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